I'm a fellow OCD'er..... I have no idea how to properly introduce my type of OCD. Hit and run, responsible for all catastrophes.....stand in a store with a spill until someone comes to deal with it so nobody falls and dies....checking the news over and over and over. The list of checks goes on. My professional team has certainly helped but I've never met another person who battles this. I am on a medicinal cocktail of ssri and anti anxiety medication, as well as supplements that brings me back to the edge of sanity, albeit wobbly. While I do deal with other themes of ocd this one has been most troubling. It's more resistant I suppose. I'm looking forward to finally hearing other experiences and hopefully not be ... so alone.
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Chiboo
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Hi Chiboo- you are definitely not alone! I too suffer with hyper responsibility issues among others. I know what you mean about waiting in a store to get a spill cleaned up- I see things on the ground like nails, plastic bags, broken glass, etc and feel responsible to pick it up so no one will get hurt. It can be difficult though because I also have contamination fears so it’s hard for me to pick up some types of things. Ugh!
Thank you for sharing! I deal with contamination on a secondary level....but mostly with contamination to others. What a vicious cycle it all is. How frustrating and almost incredible what our minds can do. Have you learned any tools for the everyday dealings?
My contamination issues are about contamination to others as well- I guess it falls into the hyper responsibility for others that I feel. Been dealing with this for so long that unfortunately I have learned to live around it but am starting to fight back harder now as I realize it’s the only way to deal with it. Trying to slowly face my fears and live like a “normal” person does. Reading about the disorder has really helped me understand myself better.
Please know that you are not alone. This disease is extremely isolating. I have had OCD as early as age 8 but was not properly diagnosed until a few months ago at the age of 23 when my OCD started to manifest itself as Harm OCD. I found myself believing that I was responsible for hit and runs, murdering loved ones, having multiple personalities and being an overall evil person. I am now working on recovery and also take ssris (sertraline and klonopin) that are extremely helpful to me. The only way out of OCD is through. OCD is nothing but a big fat liar. Remember that it is very ego dystonic, which means that all those negative thoughts and ideas are the complete opposite of who you are. If you are not already, I would highly recommend that you find a specialist in ERP. This is truly the only type of treatment that is successful for OCD. You start off small, but you have to expose yourself to those fears. My best advice to you when an OCD thought pops in your head would be to simply respond with “maybe, I don’t know”. Hey OCD, maybe I did do that but I’m not going to google and try to figure it out in my head and replay my day to ensure I didn’t harm anyone. You have to starve the OCD monster. It is a toddler throwing a tantrum, so we have to ignore it. It is ok to invite OCD into your home but do not sit down and engage with it! Don’t give it the power it so desperately desires. I promise that the intrusive thoughts will start to fade. I have already seen great progress with this tactic. OCD can tell me all the hideous things it wants, but I will simply observe the thought and not engage with it. Keep fighting, it will get better! And you are never ever alone even though it often feels that way.
Thank you so much for this! I do have a team and dr for ERP. I've actually made great headway but the responsibility ocd is a hard hand that was dealt. It's indeed very lonesome.
I really liked your response to Chiboo re how to deal with the OCD intrusion in your life. Interesting how this OCD monster takes a hold of so many of us the same way.
You are certainly not alone. I’ve had a resurgence of my OCD lately and it’s been difficult. I’m actually on an anti-psyc. to supplement my SSRNI. If you ever want to chat for support or to keep eachother accountable in overcoming this, feel free to msg me : )
Hi Chiboo. I’ve just joined because I feel alone. I’ve recently been discharged from the OCDI at McLean Hospital. It was extremely helpul. I learned about ERP along with a lot of coping mechanisms. Two books that were recommended that were helpful were “the imp of the mind” by Lee Baer and “the happiness trap” by Russ Harris. There are so many levels and comorbidities that tag along with OCD. Guilt, perfectionism, hypermorality, and poor sleep for example. It helps to know there are others like us. Even though there are different types of OCD we all share the same fear and anxiety that’s provoked by our thoughts. Just know you will have days that feel like you’ve relapsed in your treatment and that’s ok. Just don’t give up! Keep up your ERPs and try your hardest not to ritualize. We don’t always see our progress but it is there. Take care of yourself. Always make time to do something you enjoy each day. Live in the moment because it is all we know. (We cant change the past and we can’t control the future). Mindfulness and yoga are extremely helpful. CBT is also helpful. We can’t control our thoughts or feelings but we can control our behaviors. If we take action towards what we value then our thoughts and feelings will follow. These are just some of the things I learned at McLean’s. I hope some of this helps.
Wow! You're so right. This was so encouraging. I really feel like I'm relapsing at times and so therefore, failing. I really needed to hear this! I hope we talk more
On the lighter side. I can relate to standing by the spill in the store while waiting for someone to clean it up. I find myself rearranging the top shelves in stores to prevent an item from falling and hitting someone on the head. At McLean’s, part of my treatment was to leave a can slightly hanging over the shelf edge (the highest shelf I could reach) and then leaving it there. They also had me leave a sharp knife on the counter with the pointed end out towards the counter edge. Of course this was a supervised setting. I wouldn’t recommend it in “real” life. You can write a script about it though. Have you written scripts or short stories? You right it about your worst fear as if it happened, in great detail. You read it over, again and again for an hour a day. You try to engage in the thought without ritualizing. If you don’t already do this then talk to your therapist. They can guide you. Some fears can’t be experienced in “reality” as an exposure. For example if your fear is about someone burning in a house fire cause you didn’t check the plugs. This was one of mine. I no longer check plugs thanks to my treatment. I’m still struggling with more severe thoughts. That’s because they are about things that mean the most to me and I’ve had them longer. Sorry if this text is too long. There is just so much to share. Take care. 😁
You are definitely not alone! One thing to think about is that with OCD, even if people don't share your exact obsessions or compulsions, the pattern for all of us is the same. That is to say, even if we don't think about or do the same things you do, we still totally understand what you are going through. Sounds like you are doing all the right things!
You are not alone! There are literally millions of OCD sufferers around the world. Statistically, the odds are that you know other people with OCD. Their OCD may not manifest in the same way as yours, but the core processes of OCD are the same.
I think there are a couple of reasons that we feel alone as OCD sufferers:
- It's more difficult to describe the experience of OCD to a non-sufferer than it is to describe the experience of depression or anxiety in general.
- It's typically going to be pretty hard to look at someone suffering from OCD and know it
Hello. Those are all relatively common symptoms of OCD. The symptom of checking hits home with me. I struggle with checking nearly anything under the sun. It is unbelievably deflating.
There are many others who battle this, just like you. I may not be the best match to your exact symptoms, but there are multiple people in this community that suffer in the same fashion that you do.
I am glad to hear that you are on medication and supplements.
I understand that one theme of OCD sticks out from the rest. This is very relatable on many levels.
OCD is extremely resistant. I am glad to hear that you are fighting hard.
I also have an off-brand of OCD that is a little hard to find others talking about. May I suggest that you check out moral scrupulosity? On the IOCDF channel of youtube, there are three recent videos about it. I found them very relatable.
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here anytime for talking!
Not knowing who I am 
Is this really OCD?
I don't know what to do anymore.
Wish me luck
Having a hard time
