More To Life
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Coming to terms with it

Hi all,

I'm a 41 year old coming to terms with unsuccessful attempts at having a child. 3 ivf attempts , 3 pregnancies and 3 miscarriages. I Can see all that I have to be thankful for ( I have a wonderful husband , family and friends ) but I can't shake this feeling of sadness and anger from not fulfilling my mum role. I'm resisting isolating myself from friends who are all doing the family thing but it hurts. Anxiety is making me feel pretty lousey and just generally rubbish about myself and my inability to be a mum. No wish to adopt so I feel it's time to get my head around the reality of a different life.

Any stories of success / similar experiences would be wonderful please - I can't seem to find any local support groups concentrating on childlessness after treatment / trying. Based in Cambs .

Many thanks


1 Reply

I've posted about this myself as well as replying to others. I initially felt relief at stopping treatment but then felt sad for a long while. I had some counselling which helped me understand the grief cycle as well as talking about the loss of not being able to be a mum. We had 3 rounds of ICSI and 3 BFNs. We had 2 mcs from natural conceptions. I find it hard coming up to the anniversary of what should have been our due date for the 2nd pregnancy (missed mc of identical twins discovered at 12 week scan). That mc was very difficult and took me a long time to get over and that was before we found out we needed ICSI. Adoption isn't for us either.

I haven't been to any meet ups but have found this forum helpful. I've also been reading Jody Day's book. Things are easier than they were but little things get to me like the Amazon christmas advert with the baby name book. I know they didn't make it with the intention of upsetting anyone but it does rub it in that that'll never be me.


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