Hello, I've just found this site, thank god. I am nearing the end of a horrible three weeks since my last and final negative pregnancy test. I have lost count of how many times I've seen the 'not pregnant' words now, with the last cycle failing after using three donor embryos in Athens. I have been over and over in my head for ways to try again, against my partner's wishes, but knowing that this last go where i literally gave myself the best chance i could get (a 24 year old donor, a hysteroscopy, 3 embryos) and it still didn't work (after trying all last year using my own eggs) i know that it now has to stop. Trying to keep the hope alive in some way is damaging me and our relationship but I'm so scared about actually facing the truth. I am going to find a counsellor to help me try and order my thoughts, keep calm and help to try and deal with life in a world where children play such a big part. I've pretty much shut myself away for 3 weeks as most of my friends and both my sisters have children and I just cannot face that yet. I keep putting people off and arranging dates to see people in the future. I know that this must be the worst bit right? It was good to read posts on here today, you're all thinking the way i am, focusing on careers, holidays, houses and relationships and puppies. It's good to not feel alone and there really really has to be more to life than having a family because the prospect of always feeling like there's a huge void in life is really depressing. I'm so sorry to everyone out there who is feeling this. It really is awful.