So confused!?

[1969]

Is it a symptom to gain weight with depression? :/

[Hidden]

Most medication does 50/50 either eating too much or not eating. One medication I was on - couldn't eat or drink (not even water). Another I could not sleep for weeks, literally dozing 5-10 mins at a time. So I would have to say even without the meds - depression could be comfort eating etc...

[1969 in reply to Hidden]

I ament on any medication, I am new to this page and even just getting help. I did one of those mood test thingys and it said I could have moderate desperation. So I am still not sure if I have it but I don't want to go to my doc's because my mum dosent even know how I feel or what iv done to my self ect ... But I am scared to go to the doctors.

[Hidden in reply to 1969]

Could you speak to a nurse?

[1969 in reply to Hidden]

Im not sure yet, I am still just trying some sites and stuff. I don't know I I could handle going to talk to someone and my mum is bound to find out I I went to speak to someone.

[Suzie40]

I think to even get as far as an online test is a sign that something isn't quite right. Don't question every little physical change. You'll find that most ailments / conditions can be attributed to anxiety or depression in sme way, just as they can all be symptoms of other things too. Listen to yourself and recognise the signs that something isn't right for you. That's your best indicator x

[1969]

Yeah that's true, I find I gain a lot of weight especially when I am stressed and even if I don't eat more or that but yes I would have to admit to comfort eating when I'm really low x

[annie87]

Hi depression makes me not hungry and I lost a stone in a week through anxiety depression and bit eating

hop you are ok

All the best love Annie xx

[1969]

Wow that's a lot I hope your okay! Thanks, You to Annie xx

[poppyd]

hi, if you are in UK you can visit an NHS walk in centre and no one has to know. If you are over 16 years old your Mum has no right to find out why you visited the Doctors.Please try to get some advice soon.Hugs xx

[hamble99b in reply to poppyd]

I agree with Poppy.

all drs visits are confidential.

please go and see someone.

regards,

sandra.

[1969 in reply to hamble99b]

Hiya poppy & Sandra, I wish I was 16 but I'm only 14 in two weeks, but I could tell my sister and she could help we get out the house undetected and also be emotionally supportive. Hugs to you to poppy! Need them right now xx

[1969]

Also I I did go and see my doctor, what would I say? This is what worries me, I hate opening up and I'm a very private person but I'm sick and tire of feeling like this am I just want to know once and for all if I have depression or not :/ xx

[hamble99b in reply to 1969]

could you maybe write down what you want to say and give it to the doctor?

that's what I do.

would your sister go with you?

do you have counsellors or welfare advisors at school who you could talk to?

below are some useful helplines you might consider calling.

please keep in touch,

sandra.

YoungMinds

Helpline: 0800 018 2138

youngminds.org.uk

MIND

0300 123 3393

[e-mail]

Saneline

0845 767 8000

sane.org.uk

SANEline is a national out-of-hours telephone helpline offering emotional support and information for people affected by mental health problems.

Students Against Depression

studentdepression.org

Developed in consultation with students who have been affected by depression, low mood or suicidal thoughts. Many of their stories and suggestions are included on the site.

Get Connected

Freephone: 0808 808 4994 (1pm - 11pm)

getconnected.org

Confidential National helpline for young people under 25 helps them work out what they need most. Can put them in touch with places that can help - whatever the issue.

Campaign Against Living Miserably

Helpline: 0800 58 58 58

thecalmzone.net

Papyrus

Papyrus HOPElineUK - 0800 068 41 41

papyrus-uk.org

Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress - particularly teenagers and young adults.

there are also the Samaritans

[1969]

Yes that's a good idea, yeah I think if my sister knows how scared and stressed I am she will come. I do have a guidance teacher at school to talk to anytime but I don't know if I want my problems in school but it's always an option I suppose. Thank you Sandra and everyone who's helped on this blog! I will stay in touch and tell you all about what I get up to and how I get help and that ... THANKS! Xx

[Hidden]

I'm not sure if this comment is superfluous after all the above sound advice.

What I wanted to say is this:

You are not alone in feeling down.

Around a quarter of people in the UK will suffer from some form of depression over their lives and it is much, much more common than you think.

Young people, such as yourself, are under an huge amount of pressure from a such lot of different directions - school, friends, the media and, sometimes, from your family - it is no wonder that you may feel down at times.

I know what you mean when you say you are a private person and feel it difficult to explain how it is that you are feeling to other people.

I'm 43, and I STILL find it very difficult to express to others how I feel, even my psychiatrist and psychotherapist.

I also find my mental illness something to feel embarrassed about - I've been a capable person all my life and I hate the fact that I can no longer do the things I have been able to do all my life.

The reason I'm telling you this - and it is a lot easier to write to you on a forum than it would be to speak to you face to face - is this:

Apparently, I have had depression since my early teens.

I didn't know.

I didn't know that life isn't meant to feel like this.

I didn't know that I was going to miss out on enjoying 30 odd years of my life because of an illness I didn't recognise and couldn't discuss because I was afraid to do so.

But, I have, because I didn't go and speak to someone.

I simply gritted my teeth and got on with life, because I didn't want to 'make a fuss' or 'whine' or 'not be taken seriously'.

I couldn't tell my parents, or my friends about how I was feeling, so I had no way to compare my life with those of other people and realise that there was something very wrong indeed.

You seem to understand that you may be suffering from depression.

In a weird way, that is great, because it shows that you have a self awareness that many people, including myself, lack.

I'd urge you to go and see your doctor as soon as you can.

I know it is hard.

I know you are feeling a wee bit scared.

It is OK to feel that way, really, it is.

What is not OK is allowing your fear or embarrassment to stop you from seeking help.

You're young, I'm assuming you are healthy physically and you have a great life ahead of you - as long as you take the steps to get the help you may need now, rather than leaving it and missing out, as I have done.

Don't make the same mistake I made and try to hide your feelings, there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

One other thing:

You specifically mentioned about your weight in your first post.

Again, it is normal to suddenly put on a little bit of weight in your early teens.

As long as you have a healthy and balanced diet and take some exercise, you will probably find it will drop away again as you get a little older.

Again, your doctor should be able to help if you are anxious about this - but you need to tell her about it.

I'm afraid I haven't had children, so I apologise if my tone isn't quite right or if I sound like I'm being condescending to you.

I'm writing to you as I would to any other adult and it seems from your writing that you're pretty grown up, so I hope you will forgive me if I sound like a bit of an old fart!

You take care now and let us know how you get on - this forum is full of good people, many of whom know exactly how you feel and won't judge you.

Stuart

[Hidden]

Megan,

I forgot to say something else when I was replying to your post.

Using the internet is great for finding things out, but be very wary of trying to self - diagnose by taking online tests and answering online questionnaires.

People are all different, and mental health is a very complicated subject, so what is right for one person is not necessarily right for another.

Online tests are a good starting point for seeing whether you might think you need help, but they cannot be relied upon as necessarily being right for you.

Go and see your doctor - she will be able to help you far more than an internet questionnaire.

Stuart

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

well written Stuart.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Stuart,

Have you given any thought to becoming a councillor yourself. You come across really well and have obviously suffered yourself and got sorted out...would be a shame to see such a talent wasted.

(((Hugs)))

Lorraine

xxx

[Photogeek]

HI I hope you get to sort it all out. Could you talk to your Mom at all. An Aunt even, if not just try and go yourself to the Doctor, he is the only one qualified to give a proper diagnosis, its very hard here because we dont know if there are other issues. Do you have supportive parents and a goood home life? Let us know how you get on, Big hug to you, you sound a great kid to me, so well done for getting on here.

Love

Hannah

[1969]

Yeah, iv always been very quite and insecure about talking to people and if my mum ever thinks there's something I'm not telling her (which is quite often as she canot read my sings of something's wrong) she has to encourage me to tell her but there is always a good reason why I don't tell her. Yes I am fit and reasonable healthy physically and you don't sound like an old fart! Haha what you said has been really helpful and encouraging the thing I'm most scared about is what if I don't have depression and I'm just wasting everyone's time and that would be even more embarrassing than having it. :/ but I get what everyone's saying how important it is to talk to someone, and I will I just need to tell my sister and that and try and figure out what I'm going to say and I'm not going to try and understand it because I simply can't. I wasent sure about going in on this site but I'm sooooo glad I did! Within the 2 days iv been on it I have learnt a lot and got a lot of useful advice a BIG THANKS once again to everyone! Xx

[Hidden in reply to 1969]

Megan,

You won't be wasting anybody's time.

Personally, I'd say go and speak to your doctor FIRST and to your sister later, if you feel like doing so.

The reason is your GP will have loads of experience in helping young people with worries like yours - as I mentioned, depression is far more common than you might think - and your sister probably doesn't.

No - one, least of all your GP, will think you are wasting anyone's time, really.

You've been ever so brave even coming onto this site and expressing yourself.

See if you can find that little bit of extra bravery and go and see your doctor.

Take care now,

Stuart

[1969]

Hiya Hannah, I don't think I can tell my mum and I'm not really close to my aunts. My parents would probably be supportive but I think they would just be like "don't be silly you don't have depression!" They don't really understand me like my friends, sister or you guys do :/ thanks again Hannah big hug to you to! Hehe xx

[coatpin]

Yes it is, the drugs can do that too,,, it isnt eating too much, as I gained 3 stone in 3mths, and my periods stopped,, because i wasnt eating enough, but my gp wrote gross weight gain. And I believe your system gets slower and sluggish.

If you look up on your drugs, youve been give on the internet,, and see what it says.

you may find you either get weight gain,, or weight loss

when your feeling better then deal with the weight. take care

[1969]

I ament on any medication as I don't know if I have depression or not but I am going to go an see my doctor hopefully

You take care to x

[Suzie40]

Megan I'm going to be really honest with you now lovely, and suggest that if you are going to seek advice from depression forums, you use as it just one source of help, and look to your family and school for support as well. At 13 you are perfectly entitled to be depressed and also perfectly capable of making decisions. However the symptoms you have may be characteric of lots of different things, including growing up. I am not trying to patronise you or make you feel silly, I am jut a bit worried that some of the conversations you will read on this forum might make you feel quite confused x

[Jeffju]

I agree with Suzie, yet again. You are at a very changeable time of life, I remember it well. I had a great Auntie that I could talk to better than my Mum at your age. But go to your GP and see what they say and go from there. Teenage years are years of heaps of growing, finding out who you are and ups and downs. All thye very best to yoi. And I lost weight so it doesn't apply to everyone, putting on weight. Love from another old fart !!! xxxxx

[Hidden]

I comfort eat when I am depressed.

bev x

[Hidden]

Hi Megan,

Not seen you for a couple of days, so thought I would check up and see how you are getting on.

Hope the sunshine is making you feel a wee bit better - it is a beautiful day here in East Anglia, I hope the sun is shining on you today.

Stuart

[1969]

Hiya guys, sorry I have been away at a cadet weekend for the last few days so I couldn't get on here but I'm back haha. I read the last couple of comments that I missed and again thanks for the advice guys! Xx

[1969]

Haha a little to much Stuart! I got sun burned on Saturday while I was surounded by hills covered in snow! Haha weird or what? x

[Hidden in reply to 1969]

I'm one of those lucky people who don't burn, Megan.

Easy to burn on a hilltop though - the UV rays are still there, even if it feels a wee bit cold.

I used to climb a little when I was younger and fitter - where were you hillwalking?

I remember those orienteering exercises from long ago - blisters, soaking wet '68 pattern DPM, sore back from the '58 pattern webbing and an overdose of ghastly 24 hour ration pack food.

Oh, the memories....

Good to hear from you, take care.

( I'd PM you but...probably not appropriate for the obvious reasons )

Stuart

[1969]

Where you in cadets!? Haha! Yeah we were doing section attacks and that up in the training area beside Ben wivis (don't know how to spell it!) and we were shooting the SA80 rifle today , it was really good yeah I get ya ..

[Hidden]

Hi Megan!

It was still the good old L1A1 in my day.....

Scotland is lovely when the weather is good, not so wonderful when it isn't.

Walked up a good few Munros in my time.

Can't remember going up Ben Wyvis, but it looks a good one!

I recall getting a wee bit stuck whilst clumping around Stob Ghabhar in about 1990 ( just realised how long ago that was - way before you were born! ) - what had started out as a beautiful day turned into freezing fog and rain with visibility less than 5 feet!

All turned out well in the end though - going up was OK, but the getting back down was more than a little interesting.

Just seen where you are in the world....just across from where they distill my favourite muscle relaxant. Lucky you!

You sound a good deal more chipper than you did a couple of days ago - the wee walk has obviously done you some good, by the sound of it.

Hope you have a good day at school tomorrow.

All the best,

Stuart

[knowles8586]

antidepressants make you eat give you an appetite

[1969]

Haha oh cool! Yeah I love where I live it's an amazing place for walking and that we also saw a huge bunch of deer and huge stags on the way back to camp haha it was really cool. Still with all this exitment, every time I was alone or on the Saturday night when everyone was getting the banter and that I was just super quite which is unusual for me and everyone was asking what was wrong and I just sai I was ok. With everything that's happened lately I litcurtly hate everyone but my sister and my dad. My auntie and uncle who are like mum and dad to me sort of betrayed me... Last night I lost it and honestly it felt like I was having a panic attack and crying and all that so I called my sister up and told her everything which she then told my mum and dad EVERYTHING so I dident go to school today and my mum wants to talk to me so ill tell yous all what happens later wish me luck :/

[Hidden in reply to 1969]

You'll be fine, Megan.

You're doing all the right things.

Good for you!

Remember to be absolutely honest with how you feel, even though it is hard to explain - I actually found it hardest of all to try to tell my loved ones what was going on - partly because I wanted to protect them from the fallout.

They found out in the end and the circumstances were very difficult for them.

Enough said.

Could do worse than directing your parents to this site - there are a lot of very wise people on here.

I've just been out on my own - which is a big deal for me - and had a haircut - beautiful weather out there and I now look a little less Yeti - like.

Take care of yourself won't you?

Stuart

[1969]

Yeah that was exactly the same for me I just dident want all the stress and hassle of telling them and all the tears and emotions , I don't do emotions. Och well it's all out now and my dad and that is wanting to have a look and see what's been said and that and see where to go from here. Well done you! Haha that's really good haha yeti like yeah course I will it's all changed for the better now and you to Stuart and everyone else who's answered on this fourm , best wishes to all and thank you for helping me!

Megan

[Lush__x]

I can see there are alot of comments here already but I lost weight when i was depressed, then went on meds and lost even more, then changed my meds and all of a sudden my appetite came back with a vengance!! lol

I found myself hungry all of the time! so since then ive just regulated my meals and started to eat properly again.

I think with depression it can go either way, hungry or not hungry. Ive always had a big appetite so assumed i would want to just eat and eat but its suprising what depression does to you.

Hope you are okay and everyone is here for you!

Tank care hun and keep posting!!

xx

[Hidden]

Megan,

How are things working out?

Stuart

[1969]

Well we haven't really done anything else but my mum was like "I know no one likes going to the doctors ... But ..." So yeah :/ had a bad day at school today, was quite upset anyways but this teacher was really getting on my nervous and I shouted a bit at him :/ but he deserved it ugh ... This is about when I start to feast haha ..

[1969]

And I have this award ceromony thingy tomoro and I really don't want to do it ,I get stage fright anyway but I am just really not in the mood

[Hidden]

Megan,

This might sound daft - but drink a lot of water.

Fills you up, cuts the appetite and cleans the system - also reduces water retention, oddly.

Go to the quack , you wee beastie, you. She WILL help you sort this out far quicker than anything else, so just DO it!!!!

Are you getting an award?

What for?

Stuart

[1969]

Haha okay? Will do, haha!! Yeah I know I will ... When I get round to it haha :/ yes I am it's an achievement award for just trying hard and working hard in all classes all year round sort of thing. I got one last year but I dident go because I chickened out haha

[1969]

Hiya guys not spoke in a while , To be honest I think it's just the age I'm at with the weight thingy haha! :/ yeah so nothing's happened since I have talked to my mum and dad but with the other problems iv been having (family issues) and also some trouble iv got into at cadets, my uncles basically bullying me because he dosent think I should be aloud to stay in cadets and it's like he's trying to sicken me of cadets and being honest it's kinda working but all the little things he says to me are really getting to me but he dosent know how fragile I am right now with self harming ect ... The only way to stop it is to leave cadets which I wouldent do for the world! My mum and dad know and they aren't happy but they can't do anything so fed up of people ...

[1969]

I have had to deal with bullying my whole life, but this time I can't do anything to stop it and even if he dosent know that he's winning, but he is because it's affecting me mentally much more than he will ever know