I'm too scared to tell anyone!

[ESC2013]

I don't know really how to put this, but the past 7 or 8 months have been a complete rollercoaster! My father left 8 months ago claiming to have had a mental breakdown, only to realise he's been having affair with a woman 17 years his junior and only 6 years older than myself.

My mother has many anxiety issues and has struggled with the recent months, and being her eldest I've had to cope with many things that are beyond my age.

Recently, I have felt like I have lost friends, and that everyone I know hates me, particularly those I used to be close too. My work ethic has totally decreased and I no longer truly care about my future.

I sometimes feel like I should give up on life. I want to change my name, change nationality etc. I want to become a different person.

I don't really know what is happening with myself, I think I need help, but I'm too scared to really tell anyone! Help?

[Suzie40]

Sometimes just putting your thoughts down on paper (or a screen) is a good place to start. Has your performance in work deteriorated, or just your feelings toward it? The reason I ask is that I often consider myself a failure in work, yet my boss tells me I do well. I understand that feeling of wanting to start over with a new identity, I thought about it just today actually. I think we both know the in reality, it would only put the symptoms on hold for a while. I also know how it feels to feel too scared to tell anyone. If you talk to your GP, anything you say will be in the strictest of confidence and he or she will not be judging or laughing at you x

[Jeffju]

I think that you need to see your GP who may refer you to a counsellor. They will be able to listen to your problems and give you advice and strategies on how to cope. Everything is a bit overwhelming for you at the moment. See your GP as soon as poss. Good luck.

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Hi

I'm sorry things have been hard for you.It sounds like you are depressed or have lost confidence or belief in things which is hardly suprising: your father has been a cheat and a liar, your mother has needed your support and although you don't say your age I presume it is at a time when you still need support yourself. It's no wonder you feel your friends are deserting you, probably you don't have the energy or motivation to be positive either. I wonder whether you are at school or work? If at school then your school counsellor may be of help and some schools have an organisation called Safe Space which offers open counselling sessions, you could ask at the school office. If at work does your employer have counselling? If not then you will need to seek a counsellor or similar yourself. If you can afford it then look for one privately through BACP or UKCP, if not then your GP can refer you. If it's very urgent and feels like a crisis then the Samaritans are great for desperate moments. I agree with the other respondents that you need to develop some coping mechanisms. You say you are too scared to tell anyone, is that for some specific reason such as a cultural one, or is it that you think you should be able to cope without help? We all need help sometimes, but if there is a cultural issue then is there an older person within the community or religion who can support you initially while you seek help? Suexx

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I understand completely where you are coming from. While I can't comment on issues of my family leaving me, I too find it difficult to speak to anyone about my mental health issues.

Not even my GP knows the full extent of my thoughts because I get so anxious that my mind goes blank and I never get round to telling her the truth.

In Britain, there is an attitude whereby it is seen as an embarrassment to be depressed - something that one can expect to be mocked about. From what I can gather, attitudes in America are much more modern on the issue...

I was referred to a crisis team yesterday, as thoughts of suicide were increasing. I sat and had a chat with two ladies in a mental health center and it felt like I got something off my chest.

I also considered going back to mass in a bid to speak to the priest about my problems..

If you know of anyone at all who understands what it is like to suffer, it is worth chatting to them - as difficult as it may be, just speaking to someone makes a difference.

If you can get in touch with a counselor all the better.