Santa's Plight
Ho ho, blooming ho
My bloody paunch will have to go
I am stuck in this flaming chimney pot
And it’s still flaming bloody hot
Mrs Santa feeds me up
And gives me lots of wine to sup
She doesn’t realise my plight
The job I have on Christmas night
She thinks this present game’s a doddle
And doesn’t notice that I wobble
Oh my god what shall I do
Still stuck in this bloody flue
I have this sack full of toys
For all these greedy girls and boys
They seem to want the earth and more
Much more than the year before
I really hope it’s worth my while
And I get wine and mincemeat pie
Good will to all men, my foot
What, when my beard is full of soot!
JLl