Depression!

[Richierich69]

Hi, I'm new on here and I hope this will help, here goes....

I have just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder which is manic depression! I'm in shock but all that has happened in my life I understand and everything fits into place. But I am struggling on a daily basis! I can't control what I'm thinking sometimes and I feel like what's the point! Enough is enough! But other days I feel happy! Why! I don't know how to stop my thoughts and feelings. My Relationship has broken and my partner has had enough! I struggle to mix with people now and find it hard to talk. But this has made me even worse as I feel alone and useless! Why is this happening?

[DMM218]

It's happening because you have a mental illness. All these are symptoms of a mind which for some reason (completely not your fault) is out of synch.

Nice photo btw.

Right sounds like rock bottom. New diagnosis, frightening as this is your future life now, relationship gone, self esteem minimal, normal coping methods not working.

Remember much of your immediate feelings are related to stress and anxiety. You've been coping will an undiagnosed misunderstood illness for years without help. How much stress will that have caused? More than your average person ever experiences.

Now the definitive diagnosis. No turning back this is a life long condition. Again the stress of that trauma is huge.

Then the effects of the illness itself.

So no wonder you are at this point. You'd literally have to be insane if at this point in your life you felt happy.

So, take time to adjust. Grieve for the loss of the life you have thought you were going to have. Accept your condition, learn about it and talk to others. I'm hoping that you will see although chronic your condition is manageable and with some adjustments you can live a full and happy life.

Biggest problem is not you, it's how others see mental ill health. But it's changing slowly.

I'm leaving it at that. I hope this helps. You will get help and support. Post and keep in touch and just ask for help. Take care. It will get better.

[Richierich69 in reply to DMM218]

Thank you!

But you've hit the nail on the head! I've been feeling like this for a long time!

I didn't know it's a life like no condition?

That has made me feel a bit worse to be honest. Great! I use to be a bubbly fun loving guy now I'm just a shell! 😳

[DMM218 in reply to Richierich69]

I may be wrong but I think bipolar is actually a permanent change to the brain. I'm not sure if the mechanism but think it may be that your brain map or wiring always had a fault or flaw. Now, for some people it never gets triggered but for others certain things or combination of things trigger it, the fault occurs. Now, our brains always make new connections etc so with medication and therapy you can replace the fault with new pathways but it always remains. As I said I could be completely wrong. I welcome to be told that about anything really.

But regardless your mental health should always be your priority. I've had depression for years, prior to medication I'd describe myself as a functioning depressive. I imagine I will need meds all my life. I will do whatever I can therapy wise to heal but I know my brain has a weakness which I may never get back to full strength. Just as I know I won't ever run a 4 minute mile, I know that I will have low resilience to stress forever. I just adapt and look after myself - it's a bit like being diabetic.

[DMM218 in reply to DMM218]

Have a look online just to get some basic information about the nature of the illness. Also, and do this a lot check out famous people who have had it or suspected to have it. It's more common than you think. It's a treatable condition. It can improve your life in many ways if you use it like a tool. All negatives can provide a positive life lesson - my personal belief may be complete sh@@ but I try to be realistically positive.

[DMM218 in reply to DMM218]

You can't control your thoughts - they just come and go- but you can control how you respond and behave physically. This is something I took from CBT. Again look it up and see if it sounds like a help.

It's really difficult to accept but our thoughts have no meaning except what we place on them. So for example, if I think I'd like to eat as much ice cream as possible. I don't have to go to the freezer and wolf down a tub. I can control my actions. If the idea keeps reoccurring I may find it more difficult to avoid implementing it but I can still control myself to a bowl etc. we do have so many thoughts every day and we don't act on all of them.

[Hidden]

Hello Richie Welcome to Mental Health Support. We can give support

Has your GP arranged any medications for you to take ?

Are you being put in contact with a CPN for CBT, to talk about your concerns and past events in your life ??.

You need to address your life problems and above is the best way of doing that. You mention that your Partner has moved on, this does happen when people are unable to handle Mental Illness. It is a shame,

your condition over time should become controlled if you work on the cause and make changes so you can move on.

You could try Breathing Techniques, also Relaxation Technique Mindfulness, you will find explanations here on on the internet.

You live in a nice part of the UK so one other thing you could try involves Diversion Techniques like hobbies or Sport that can take your mind of your condition. This will also help you keep your mind active in a positive way and that in turn will keep you on a level pathway. If you just sit around sucking your teeth you will become more depressed and unable to cope.

If you need to chat I am around.

BOB

[Richierich69 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Bob

I haven't got medication yet or been put in contact with CPN for CBT.

My relationship with my partner broke up because of my mood swings and I now see why I had them! It all fits like a puzzle! But I can't change anything! She now knows why my mood swings happened but still feels that our relationship is dead to her! My life in general is a complete mess! I don't mix well anymore or feel any emotion towards certain things! It's crazy!

I can't go on like this!

[Hidden]

Hello Richie

Where did you get your diagnosis ??

BOB

[Finglas-Boy]

Feeling that everything is going wrong @ once is not uncommon & you certainly have an ally here & I'm sure amongst the good folk here. It could be that a lot of what you're feeling is due to meds or changes in them. This is certainly how I'm being affected at this time. Can't offer any advice from a personal level except grit your teeth but in the knowledge that things can improve as they're beginning to for me. Important thing is this site is here for you.