Relationship advice

Hey everyone I’m very new to this site. But I need a little advice on my relationship.

I’ve been with my other half for nearly a year now and my over thinking and worry of losing him is driving both of us insane.

How can I just relax and not worry about stupid stuff.

He was married before and had 4kids and we’re all on good terms.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello 8tiadan

Thank you for your message. It sounds as if you have a good relationship, so that is really positive. Have you had any difficult times in previous relationships that could be causing you to feel insecure now? It sounded like you partner is understanding, again is there anything within his past that could be causing you to feel like this?

Have you spoken with a doctor to see if they can help? It might be you can consider some mindfulness or relaxation that may help you. The topics and pinned posts might be helpful with more information.

Our members are very supportive, so may be able to offer more help and information for you.

Do keep in touch

[Hidden in reply to MAS_Nurse]

He’s my first love we were together when we were teens and he kinda broke my heart in a way. (Nothing bad)

But I guess I’m scared of getting hurt again.

I’m also a little jealous of the ex which I’ve no idea why Tbh I think it’s because he was with her for so long and has kids etc...

I don’t wanna feel like this. I have been trying mindfulness and it seems to be helping a bit but I’m still having trouble 😞

I don’t wanna lose him over this. By the way I’m acting.

[sweetiepye]

Hello Stiadan, If you think about it I feel you will realize you are in a good position as regards your relationship. The ex wife is ex for a reason, but he will have to have contact with her as long as the kids are at home. If he wanted her there wouldn't have been a divorce. She is the old relationship with baggage , but you are the new with a history that has yet to be written. Make it a fun happy history, don't look back look ahead..Don't try to replace her because she isn't what he wants , you obviously are. Enjoy this time of your life. Pam

[Hidden in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you Pam.

Reading that has put a smile on my face this morning. And I’ve woken up feeling happy and lighter for some reason today.

Maybe everything is finally sinking in and I’m rekaxinb more xx

[Suzie40]

Hey, and welcome to the site. I've almost finished a 'building resilience' course and one of the modules was relationships. They talked about people whose previous experiences cause them to ruin perfectly healthy relationships. I've done it lots of times. Apparently it often stems from childhood and attachment difficulties we had. In my case it was my relationship with my Mum and the way I had to compete for her attention with my five siblings. If you think the relationship is worth fighting for, I would suggest you ask your GP to refer you for counselling.

[Hidden in reply to Suzie40]

Only thing I can think of is I grew up with just my mother. The relationship with my dad is good but I didn’t see him very much growing up coz we was in different countries.

I think I love this guy so much that I’m scared of losing him and I really shouldn’t be thinking that way!