Feeling Powerless in the Face of Change

[beehappy2day]

I have been trying so hard to improve my situation. I have been advocating for myself professionally. I have been prioritizing my mental health needs by attending an intensive outpatient program and regularly attending sessions with my outside therapist and psychiatrist. I have dedicated time towards making our home feel safe and comfortable.

Last night, my partner and I received a notice to vacate our apartment by July 31st due to my partner "attempting to assault" the construction workers who had been shaking the foundation of high rise building at 6am on a Saturday. My partner had thrown some onions down onto the construction sight. He has worked construction jobs before. He knows that there is other work that they could have been doing at 6am that didn't involve making an insane amount of noise and vibration. He was just trying to piss them off so they would stop. And the next morning, we had a quiet, peaceful morning for the first day in weeks. But now, my safety has been jeopardized as I face being kicked out of my home.

As someone whose most recent diagnosis is adjustment disorder, I am really struggling to process the helplessness I feel with this abrupt change. I have difficult leaving the house due to my anxiety, so the apartment has been my safe space for the past year. I am feeling lost at the thought of leaving before I desire to do so. To be forced to leave.

How does one reestablish a sense of control when facing a situation that is completely outside of your control?

[robin0507]

I do have some of these difficulties as well. It feels weird leaving my ‘safe space’. What helps sometimes is breaking down tasks/goals into smaller pieces. Maybe find your safe space within you even if it still requires you to set some boundaries.

I hope you gain clarity and peace soon. Be safe and hey you’re doing great! You deserve better… remember that every little change is for the best.

[beehappy2day in reply to robin0507]

Thank you robin0507! 💜