Something's wrong with me, but i dont know what

[CheeriosCereal]

I feel empty and numb, it feels weird to say that, because I do feel happy and sad and angry and whatnot, but when I'm alone in bed, I feel numb. It always either that or upsetting thoughts. I don't know whats wrong with me, but it is something. I looked into borderline personality disorder for a while, then told my therapist about the fact that exhibit almost all of the symptoms, but he said i cant have it (apparently its only diagnosable in adults, of which i am not). I don't know what to do, because i hate going to see therapy, i don't feel comfortable talking to my parents or my friends. I used to self-harm and have recently relapsed (my parents don't know because i don't want them to freak out). There's more but i don't want to go into detail about it, at least not here. I don't know what to do, so any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

[Hidden]

You've got to let therapist help and get deep down. You need to care about yourself and talk or let it out safely. Posts are great way to explore or with therapist. Write down thoughts that you have had in past or now and why you are feeling the way you are. Keep going through and digging for answers why you are doing what you are doing or why you feel numb etc