Being in limbo

[stayingalive2]

Well i'm 3 years into treatment.

I haven't been on here fora good few months.

Metal health team has signed me off and i'm back underthe GP. I feel numb, emotionally. which i think They were looking to do.

But, lithium 600mg with the venevaxine gives me terrible shakes and sickness, even after taking it for all this time. The price you pay For fitting back Into normal society i guess.

After battling with UKRI and MRC HARWELL where I worked to try and prove I was being gaslighted and bullied by my managers, they agreed to retire me at 48yrs old, They didn't want me to go to tribunal. It's a win of sorts for myself. i get my full pension for life, but it's not a win for having a mental health condition or a disability. I suffer with CPTSD so bit like Ptsd with a few 'extras' throwni n! I don't know Who i am anymore.

[stayingalive2]

Hi David

I am manic alot more with out the meds, and after a few med swaps this is the closest i have come to being able to function most days. I still have the suicidal thoughts, i have accecpted this as the norm for me plus always had a suicide plan. It all depends on how vulnerable you feel day to day with the suicidal thoughts.

Now I also smoke cannabis before bed, sleep is stiil crap for me.

I was classed as a high functioning depressive person, but the working toxic environment broke me. i just needed to sound off. Thanks for that

👍

[Hidden]

I was retired at thirty eight, I have not worked since, now at seventy two this year, I am a pensioner. If you have been discharged from Mental Health that is not unusual, I have been dipped in and out many times, the main problem now is a shortage of Mental Health Out Patient Staff, and sometimes after treatment they say they cannot go any further with your treatment and you have possibly been given the tools to help your condition.

All I can personally recommend is you discuss your concerns with your Doctor.

It will be up to your Doctor to decide the best way forward. However you may find they consider you have the tools now to help yourself.

How long have you been seen by the Mental Healh Team ?

You may find however over the short term you may be able to find some charities or similar organisations in you town may be able to give talking therapy over a ten or twelve session appointments, you will generally not need to pay for this treament. Your Doctor will most probably use these services. If you also research these services it may be possible to attend yourself, there is no charge for this service.

Remember they must have felt you are now in control with your condition, they are treating accordingly hence the discharge

BOB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Bob, May I ask why you were retired at 38? I'm 46 and feel retired, almost feel like I'm waiting to die, had several near suicide attempts, just can't get the courage right to pull it off.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I came down with Psoriatic Arthritis and generally I had problems doing my job, a lot of lifting. On top of that I was suffering from severe Depression and stress caused by chronic pain and that caused stress in my job, even though I was managing the work without lifting.Pain management was a problem especially all the opiates and medications I was taking. I was suffering at the time from extensive appointments in hospital etc

[stayingalive2 in reply to Hidden]

To be honest I struggled with the help from the AMHT, so I just ended up agreeing with everything. I can cope with the brain fog, the sickness and the shakes. Because the shakes and sickness hasn't gone, I was advised that if they hadn't stop by may, lucky me will have the side effects up until I change treatments. YAY! . I stuggle so much with people, i list on one hand the people Whom i speak to. My job i left was my forever job. They allowed me to retire as they didn't want me taking them to tribunal due to the harrassment i got from my mangers and supervisor, since i was diagnosed with CPTSD they treated myself terribly and thought they'd get away with it.

I was with AMHT for 2 years, can't fault the team, they were really good.

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear that, glad you managed to pull through all those years....from 38 to 72 without work, that's some going.