Another weekend spent in bed!

I have hit rock bottom and am at a loss as to what to do? My hubby is looking after the children, but I I'm struggling with the noise and chatter they all create. I just want to crawl into a little hole all by myself and be quiet. Hubby has already shouted at me for feeling so hopeless about the weekend and thinks it's his fault, which of course it isn't. But when I try to explain why I feel so rotten, it does centre around him not listening to me when I ask for time to myself in the early stages, when my mental health seems salvageable. But now I'm at now is the pit of my dispair, where even going to the loo takes a tremendous amount of motivation, let alone going for a walk. I'm tired of feeling like this. Another weekend spent in bed! 😞

9 Replies

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  • It sounds like you need some talking treatment and marriage guidance to find a way forward.

    The less you do the worse you will feel and the weaker you will become.

  • I've started to see a therapist this week and she suggested couples counselling too. Thank you for your reply.

  • I'm sorry you're having such a bad day. I know how it feels when anxious and depressed to find fault in our relationships. I blamed my husband for not listening to me enough, not being romantic etc.. then I became ill with a chronic illness and he's taken care of me, our children and home on the days I've been very unwell. I've realised that's love and he's an amazing support to me. Men are not the best listeners but he shows me how much he loves me by taking over on the days I've had to rest in bed.

    I know it's not easy. I suffer fatigue and weakness due to my ill health and probably the depression and anxiety. It's so hard to function some days.

    I hope things get easier for you. Huge hugs x

  • Thank you. I hope things get better for you too x

  • Elsibells , one person can face a lot,two people can face a lot more than double this. In any partnership , and especially marriage you need two pulling together even when there are no obvious problems. However difficult it is for you, you have to make a superhuman effort, and not spend the w/e in bed. You can't explain why you feel so rotten to anyone who has n't had depression so use that energy to at least get up, put your make up on and make some contribution. I am saying this for you. You'll feel a lot better and what's more show your husband it is n't hopeless.

    Whether he's a saint or a sinner its hard to cope as a husband or wife when the other partner is permanently out of the action. Eventually the stronger person will see it as hopeless and their spouse and the children will suffer terribly.

    I know its a huge effort, I've been there , but that effort will need to be so much greater if you let the situation deteriorate further by giving up. Much better to get up into the noise and chatter and when bedtime comes you'll feel so much better about yourself and sleep amd enjoy the quiet much more than if you give in to everything. You have n't hit rock bottom yet and your husband obviously still believes in you. If you stop believing in each other then you'll be getting close to the bottom.

    I do hope tomorrow Sunday turns out to be much better for you.

    Olderal

  • Thank you. I have made an effort today to go for a walk and spend some time with my family. I feel wiped out right now, but they all seem happier for it.

  • Elsibells, I'm so pleased , I'm sure your family are a lot happier for it so really well done and I do hope you also feel a bit better for it (apart from the wiped out feeling ).

    I'm sure it has meant a lot to your husband and children. It seems so unfair that you have to make such a tremendous effort for what seems a small reward but that's the nature of the beast. In your situation your children need your husband a lot . They need you a lot too and making this effort probably means more to them than even they realise.

    Olderal

  • I'm in that stage as well,I have no idea why but I have never felt so alone and helpless in all my life, hearing my kids go to school or playing at weekend is torture,I completely understand your feelings,I just have to look at there little faces and feel guilty for not being able to play with them, keep me posted on how you are feeling, maybe we could help each other x

  • Thank you for your message. It is helpful to know that there are others in the same situation at a time when I feel so alone.

    I would hate to think that my behaviour is going to impact on my children, but ultimately it's going to happen. My oldest is already asking me why I'm sad, why I'm crying and telling me that he is going to look after me! I totally get what youre saying about looking at them and feeling guilty. It's dibilitating! I can honestly say I've never felt as hopeless and alone as I do now.

    Staying in contact would be good, but I don't want to bring you down any further? If you would find it helpful then I certainly would too.

    I hope things turn around for both of us soon x

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