Trustee Account Being Used by Mum, Ma... - Mental Health Sup...

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Trustee Account Being Used by Mum, Making Me Stressed


Hi All,

I'll try to keep this short.

In 2016, after I moved to Spain, I transferred a sum of money that was in my Current Account into my Trustee/Savings Account. I made the transfer online.

After I made the transfer, I could no longer view my Trustee/Savings Account online. I don't know why this happened, and I can't sort it out because I'm not in the UK at the moment.

I contacted my mum in the UK, and she said she could access the money and view it.

Recently, because my mum isn't earning as much as she used to, she withdrew some money from the account. She told me about this beforehand.

After this, she withdrew some more, to pay for a flight for my grandad - (so they can visit me in Spain) - but she didn't tell me about this withdrawal until I asked if she had managed to book the flight.

I don't want to cause any problems, especially as they are coming to visit me - and I miss them a lot. My mum said she is going to pay me back, and my grandad is going to pay back the money for his flight.

But I can't see my money online. It's not a huge sum, but it would be useful in an emergency.

I just thought I would ask for some advice as I've been feeling anxious and stressed this week. My mood has changed and my boyfriend has noticed that I'm not as happy as I was before.

Catharsis x

14 Replies

Hi Catharsis,

I think you really need to speak to a financial advisor may be from your trustee account bank or independent advisor. This really isn't the place to get that sort of advice. But alarm bells are ringing for me that your mum has access to your account and is able to withdraw money without your knowledge unless she is also a trustee and has legal access. All banks have online accounts, so maybe you need to check with your bank that you need updated online access. Take a look at this link for more information from the UK Money Advice Service:

If you were still in the UK I would suggest speaking to the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB):

Hope this helps.

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse and Moderator

in reply to MAS_Nurse

Thank you for the advice. I will contact my bank. It's quite worrying for me, but I will try to resolve the issue as soon as possible. It's possible that I do need updated access, but I'm not sure why the account disappeared in the first place. So I'll try to speak to my bank.

Thanks again,


Hi I haven't a clue why this is happening but I do know it's fraud to use your account and withdraw money from it, regardless of whether they are paying you back. I would remind your mother of this and tell her to keep her hands off it.

Follow the suggestions made by the admin and hopefully they will work. x

Thank you, I will try to speak to my mum about the situation. I don't know how this happened either. I'll try to be firm with her.

Catharsis x

Taking money out of someones bank account can be fraud, if the account is now empty that can have real problems for you if you need that money, especially if you make out a check or similar to pay someone who has supplied services. Again under that situation if you have not asked for a possible over-draught you could end up in real trouble.

Talk to you bank and explain what has been happening, try and close the account then open a new one remembering not to tell family about the change. You need to discuss this problem with your family. You have a problem that needs a firm hand. I would never expect anyone to do this to me, in fact I do not tell anyone where we bank.

Remember families fall out when money raises its head. Why does your Mother feel it is ok to withdraw monies from your account, did she not need to forge your signature and use the account number. Heaven forbid.


Thank you, I'm going to try and speak to my bank. I'm clueless as to why this happened. After I transferred the money, the savings/trustee account just vanished from my online banking...

I'll try to speak to my bank.

Thank you,

Catharsis x

If you contact your bank and explain the situation they can place a hold on the account and no one will be able to access it including you. When they figure it all out you will be in control again. If your Mother has taken money without your permission, she will be held accountable. Has your Mother's name ever been on this account? That could be a game changer. It surprises me that you would come to a healthcare site for financial advice. Are you having issues with your Mother or money? It may come to deciding which is more important to you, Mom or Money. I'm not judging you, sometimes Moms are the problem. Think about what you want in the end and work toward that. Pam

Thank you Pam. I really appreciate your message.

I think it used to be a Trustee Account, but then my mum was removed from it. When I made the transfer, I completely lost access to it... So I can't see my money.

I've been on HealthUnlocked for six years and I post when I have anxiety or feel stressed. (I have schizophrenia and intermittent periods of depression). This situation with my savings has completely changed my mood, and I didn't know how to approach the situation with my mum. She is a nice person, but I am in the dark at the moment.

My mum sold her house in 2015 and moved to Essex with her boyfriend. Me and my sister had to live elsewhere. At the time I had no job. My sister lives with my grandad and I live in Spain with my boyfriend.

I just wanted some advice, and I'm grateful for all the replies x

I was really being nosy . I apologize for that. I had a similar situation with my own Mother. She kept stalling about transferring an account over to me when I became 21. I called the bank and they took care of it without bringing me into it at all. She never knew I was the one that turned her in. She assumed it was an attorney representing my father's estate . She stole from me and my brother and we pretended it didn't happen. Money causes people to do strange things Pam.

I’m confused. When you say it’s a trustee/savings bank account then this would require you to appoint trustees. I’m afraid to say that if your mother is a trustee and when you opened the account you authorised her to sign on the account for money solely, she would be entitled to access cash. Once you have appointed trustees the trustees are owners of the account and the funds . I understand why you might have thought a trustee bank account made sense as you were going away. You need to speak to the bank and at least ensure that you are also a trustee. Sounds stressful but you should be able to sort but if your mum is a trustee as well as you she will need to agree to any action t

in reply to s_l_f

I think, in the beginning, the account was created by my mum for me. But she was removed from the account some years ago, as we went to the bank and had it put in my name. The account in question even has my name on it. I've always been able to see the account and withdraw money from it, but now it has gone. I'm 28 years old and I thought that the account was mine.

in reply to Catharsis

You definitely should speak to the bank. They’ll be able to confirm who’s able to sign/withdraw and if the account is in your name. If it’s not as it should be, they’ll sort out. Good luck and not a biggie in the scheme of things. Especially as your mum and grandad will be paying you back. Just Need to get it right for the future so you don’t have to stress about it!

in reply to s_l_f

Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. I'll contact my bank today.

Catharsis x

You definitely should speak to the bank. They’ll be able to confirm who’s able to sign/withdraw and if the account is in your name. If it’s not as it should be, they’ll sort out. Good luck and not a biggie in the scheme of things. Especially as your mum and grandad will be paying you back. Just Need to get it right for the future so you don’t have to stress about it!

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