I can’t do this forever

[J3334r42]

I’m lost, I literally don’t know what to do, I feel hopeless.

Inside I don’t want to eat or drink anymore, I’m sick of this. I’ve not got an eating disorder… I am *so* tired of this, and I’m so guilty for the time others have spent looking after me, but I’m petrified of getting a laryngospasm (yes I know I won’t die but it’s so horrifically scary every bloody time). I get flashbacks of it, of not being able to breath, I dream I can’t breathe etc. I can’t drink alone - and I definitely don’t want to either as I don’t want to spasm alone. I can only drink tiny bits at a time so I basically just spend all day drinking - that’s at least about 5 hours every single die. And sometimes when I’m desperately thirsty this is just horrible.

I’m scared. I don’t know what the answer is but I can’t do this. I’m scared if I ‘reach out’ it’ll just be ‘it’s in your head’ - no it isn’t, I have a rational reason to be frightened, I’m scared I’ll stop breathing just from having a drink as I have many times before, how am I suppose to reassure myself when I’m well aware it could happen again? My life is running away in front of me, and I hate this.

[Jsrzb]

Hope you alright sounds awful !!!

[Autisticframework]

You need somebody to look after you and carer might be the answer, they will give you sip by sip and look after you. But definitely speak to doctor about this!

[Hidden]

Consider making an appointment with your GP, take a copy of above blog and a further list on how you are feeling. Make your appointment a double appointment so you have plenty time to discuss all your fears

Are you taking any medications at this time

BOB

[Focus2]

Sorry you feel so desperate, but it’s a viscous circle that you need to try and stop but with help! Try drinking with a straw and before you do take five deep breathes in and out. See your doctor and get referred to someone who can help you. Good luck x

[Klaus-sperger]

Dear friend, I am so so sorry you are clearly and logically suffering so much.

Take the pressure off yourself,take the demand off yourself and do something to relax and take your mind off your terrible situation. I use computer games to distract myself but you know best what is right for you.

Your terrible problem is awful,truly and in top of this you have your quite understandable negative thoughts,hopeless with no future. But relax if you can a little,entertain yourself and let time pass.All things change as time progresses,things can never remain the same so rest.let time pass and stop your worrying, as worrying and hopeless thoughts,although perhaps reasonable, will in no way help.

Hypnotherapy you may try.I am a retired hypnotherapist of 53 years.

Think of what you have yet to try,and keep talking and sharing .If you were near me I offer a free session of hypnotherapy .God bless you,

[Hidden]

Have you discussed your needs with the Employment Agency to help you move onto a work position you may enjoy. I always felt I would be very lucky to find a position I would really enjoy, You do not need to enjoy the job you do, however you need to work to Live, eat and purchase a place to live.

Many people after college try and get a job as a staging point as they look for something that will help them find that number one position that will kick all the boxes.

If you are suffering Anxiety, regaeds a WHAT IF CONDITION it is important you talk to someone like your Doctor, and explain your irrationable fear. He will have ways to help and hopefully put your mind at rest

Consider Mindfulness a Relaxation Technique, also controlled breathing will help you move onto better times.

Do not feel unsettled in seeing your GP He/She is in partnership with you to make you well

BOB