Update on overhearing my dad talking about cheating

[Lycholko]

I recently had an appointment with my therapist and discussed what to do: should I tell my mom or confront him directly. She said I should not tell my mom about it. She suggested I tell him that I don't want any secrets in this family and how I feel. To be honest, I don't know how I feel. My sister forgot about it, even though it happened less than a week ago! I thought she was joking but she wasn't. I am trying to write down what to say but it is really hard. I don't know what good confronting him would do. What would change? I know for a fact that he won't change. He never thinks that he is the one in the wrong. He always blames and yells and never makes progress. I may text him when I am out of town at a friend's house. My friend thinks that is the best option.

[kenster1]

you shouldn`t feel scared to confront him but try get yourself relaxed in your thoughts so you don`t get angry when you do.if he is cheating its no ones fault but his the sooner you talk to him the better.

[Hidden]

Hello Lycholko

I replied to you several days ago, I know this is difficult for you to consider the best way forward, Your Therapist has explained how She would approach something similar, very similar to my suggestions.

You explain your Fathers attitude to family in general, you say He is brusk and short in temper. You do not know if your Father is having problems and that may lead you into approaching your Dad. You could ask how He is feeling, it sounds like He has problems of His own and that is leading to his negative responses. Could you show concern about your Fathers Health, this will eventually lead, given some time before you bring up your fears of deception and fears of what is going on in His life with this other person.

Try to be sensitive and understanding, do not judge, people have reasons why they do things similar, you need to be able to calm yourself and work out what is going on and why your Father acts the way He does. Walk in His shoes for a time, not your own. People have problems that are not in any way isolated to themselves, they are passed down to others, this can make people ill for example here

BOB