Update. Moving on

Since my last post, I have completely split up from my boyfriend. I now know in my head there is no going back, he's tried to blame it all on me. I've blocked his number, his Facebook and his email but he seems to keep making new email addresses to try and contact me still. This past week has been really tough I've had my days where I've tried to keep busy and focus that what I am doing is for the best, but yesterday stupidly I answered a phone call from him to find him crying down the phone to me begging for me be and it made me feel so terrible because I know I can't go back because I don't trust him however despite this, in the past week, he has been giving his number to other girls, been going out to town every night with his friends, some of my friends have seen him approaching random girls and I've found out more and more lies he's told me. So obviously he can't be that bothered about losing me if he's doing what he's doing, oh and adding all his past hook ups back on Facebook. He then today changes his tune and emails me saying he's done nothing wrong to me what so ever which is the biggest insult as he can't take no blame. So in a way this has made me realise that I don't wanna be with someone who can do that to me. I guess at night the lonliness kicks in. And sometimes I think to myself "what if he finds someone and treats them the way I've always wanted him to treat me" because like I said we planned a future together and that's all now in peices. How long am I going to feel this way for? Because I am miserable right now and hurting but I'm just waiting in hope that I will be happy. I feel very on my own and I'm scared I'll never feel the way I did with him with any one else as i really loved him so much.


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5 Replies

  • You sound that you are much better off without him. Give yourself time to get used to being single. It is a whole new way of life which has some amazing benefits :)

  • You deserve someone who is going to treat you correctly and not in an abusive manner. Yes you will get lonely times. Having interests will help with these moments.

  • Hi,

    I agree with both Satsuma's comments and I really feel your pain. Last year I split from my husband of 9 years, because although he was having a hard time dealing with me and my depression in the end I couldn't trust him. He blamed me for it all and won't admit to having done anything wrong. I suspect he was having an affair because he told me what he did was none of my business and he started going out at nights and not saying where he was going or what he was doing, which he never did in the first 8 years of out marriage.

    I found out later that he tried to get turn my Mum and sister against me by telling them things that I hadn't done. I only found that out recently because my Mum and sister thought that I was now well enough to hear that.

    Please you have to for yourself move on and yes it's tough at first with the loneliness but that will pass. Don't think about him and how he's treating others think about yourself, about getting well and then you can concentrate on finding the man you deserve.

    I thought I had found my soul mate and it broke my heart the day I had to admit to myself it was over and to tell him to go, but now that I look back on it, it was the best thing I did. He moved in with another women when I asked him to leave, telling me he was going to think about our marriage. I told him it was over if that's where he was going. I've done the same as you blocked all phone numbers and email addresses that I knew he had.

    If your guy keeps harassing you, I'd suggest that you seek advise from appropriate authorities. That's what I am planning on doing if my ex keeps pestering me.

    You stay strong and keep telling yourself you've done the right thing. You can't have a relationship with someone that you can't trust.

    Take care.

  • Thank you every one. I know I can't put up with him hurting me the way he has. His mum rang me today and was telling me that he has been in floods of tears and she had never seen him like this before and that he wants to kill himself. But it's not fair because I've felt miserable for ages from how he's lied and hurt me, and I've cried literally everyday but why can't I help but feel horrible when I hear this?! Even tho gig he's hurt me? And at the same time I feel so angry because it's like why do what you did to me if this is how you are going to be when you lose me?! All I ever wanted was a future with him we had so much planned and he had to destroy me trust so it couldn't happen. I'm so angry that he crushed me and acts like I'm the love of his life, but ultimately he's chose to push me away so his future will lie with someone else. It makes me so sad thinking about it. When will it stop hurting :(

  • Hi, I hope you are doing better. You need to leave that one in the dust. That is an abuser. The other name for an abuser, is a loser. Anyone that genuinely wants to be with you, will treat you like you are the hope diamond, don't settle for less. My soon to be ex tried to destroy me emotionally, as well as financially. I won't let it happen, and you shouldn't either. It takes a lot to get over it, but you will. Good Luck.

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