How to network with people when you have severe social anxiety?

[Chocoholic_18_x]

I have dreams of becoming a singer, and I am very hard working in making it happen, and I believe in myself a lot. But when it comes down to collaborating with people, getting to know people in the industry, I am such a nervous wreck. I will always think that everyone is better and more talented than me.

Last year, I started studying at a music college and I still haven’t made any friends and hang out in the toilets at break/lunch, sometimes I’ll even skip classes because being around so many outgoing/confident people is just too much for me sometimes. And it sucks because I really want to have a career in music, but I’m struggling to make any contacts and connections and that is one of the most important things to have, believe it or not.

But does anyone have any tips on how I can be more confident and open up more, not just to people I want to work with, but everyone really? I want to do things, such as start up a band, do shows in different places etc, but I would need some people around me to do that, so if you have any tips, that would be great. Thank you🤍

[Grey-cat]

Hi ChocoholicI’m sorry I don’t have answers for you, but wanted to let you know you are not alone and so many people suffer from this. Others are just better at hiding it or faking it. I suffer social anxiety myself and Fall into the trap of thinking everyone is better than me, has more skills etc. It seems to have got worse now I am Older. I wish I had done something about it when I was younger!

Our protective subconscious mechanisms (fight or flight) is to avoid the things that cause us grief. Even when there is no physical threat, we still get all the symptoms rushing through our body.But by hiding away and avoiding these things it just re affirms that behaviour. It’s a viscous circle we have to break.

Just try to take the smallest steps into making the effort to be a little more social.

Also when something good happens no matter how small concentrate on the good feeling, just absorb it for 30 seconds or a minute longer than you normally would. Slowly this starts to help you recognise good things in your brain...

can you tell I am reading all about this stuff at the moment 😉😂

Good luck to you 😊