Dying of a broken heart

[MsTree]

How do I raise a non-verbal autistic grandchild alone? 41 years of trust has been blown away in seconds. Trust has been shattered. All I have is a heart full of love. I didn't deserve this. I've suffered through my son's and my daughter's addictions. My son in prison. But I thought I would always have his love because "we had something special". If you think the love of your life is different from the rest, think again. Never put them on a pedestal because they are human and not god. I guess what I had to offer him wasn't enough anymore and I can't compete with what he desires. I was a head turner only a few years ago. But all the stress and burdens of the addicts and raising a baby at my age who is autistic has aged me. I'm sure I'm at least 3 inches shorter than I was 5 days ago. His betrayal has been the heaviest burden of all. 41 years wiped away because of a lustful eye. Every sin starts with a single thought. He should have been thinking of me. I am only a shell of a person right now and feel I COULD DIE FROM MY BROKEN HEART.

[sweetiepye]

The same sort of thing happened to me. You don't die of a broken heart, but you feel like you want to. I found some letters in my husbands desk , they were to a younger woman he had met in a bar and contained plans to meet again. I copied the letters and hid the real ones. When he came home that night I presented them to him. Looking me straight in the eye with the letters in hand he denied knowing anything about it. I had to laugh at the audacity of it. He then started to tear the letters up and I let him know I had the originals. Oh the look on his face. my husband is a 77 yr old man and I asked him . what he thought a 40 yr old woman would want him for Money of course, she's a single Mom with no skills and you are her savior. I said she can have you, but she is not getting one penny of our money, Money that I saved and went without for. Then I threw a few things at him and told him to get out of my sight. I ragged on him every day for months I would not leave it alone. Then I started thinking about divorce and that may still happen. It is a day to day thing.He goes no where without me and that's his choice I t was a very difficult time for me, I was hurt . I've never considered myself a head turner but men seem to like me and I like them. My husband knows this. I think of it as geriatric junior high. You remind your man who you are and what his to you. Pam

[MsTree in reply to sweetiepye]

I like you and I've never met you. I think you have a personality that won't stop. Just the name sweetiepye is enough to make me smile. Being a head turner was a burden. My boss offered me $20,000 in 1992 when I worked at a bank he owned. I'm not a prostitute, told him I wanted to slap him for even thinking I would do that. I was very poor at the time and worked for $6 an hour. He upped the ante to cars, houses and so on. I ended up quitting that job. My husband was torn up over it. Said if he didn't know me, he would believe I took the money and slept with him. But he knows me. I'm not a ho. lol I'm going to make it. God will restore my joy and lead me where I should go. I know this. Thank you for replying.

[Hidden]

Ms Tree

Yes I can understand from your last posts you have gone through an unenviable time with your family problems, including drugs and Son and Daughter and Law.

We should never put anyone including our children on a pedestal so high they and you would get hurt as they fall and clatter to earth. Your problem now is revolving around the care of their son and sad to say you are suffering from a cause that was not your fault.

You need help and it may be an idea you discuss with your GP the problems you have and that you feel you need help with various health concerns you are suffering from.

Hopefully there may be some way to give you some help in the upkeep of this child, especially if the child is Autistic. You need help, so does the child with such a disadvantage of Parents who were addicted to various drugs

May I ask, are you married ?.

BOB

[MsTree in reply to Hidden]

I made an appointment with a therapist. I haven't been able to do that before because there was no one to watch my grandson. At this point, the stress of everything has weakened my immune system and I run a fever every day of an unknown cause. I'm a workhorse and push myself too hard. Somedays I get up and go even when I don't feel like sweeping the floors. I don't expect to live long like this.

[Hidden in reply to MsTree]

MsTree

You will not be affecting your immune system, it sounds like you have Anxiety caused by your life choices.

You mention you will be seeing a Therapist soon. Make a list of your concerns that you need to address. I may mean you need to make some changes to calm your mood and life choices.

Life is hard an in many ways you may need to address some changes to your life, the Therapist hopefully will be able to help. You need to understand however you have your own life to lead. Given that I wish you well. Remember we are here to give support

BOB

[MsTree in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I have 2 adult children that won't leave. They've made choices that have left them homeless and with nothing. I hate it for them, it tore me up for a while, but I learned to free my mind of it, then here they come on my doorstep. I don't know what to do with them. They're ruining my life.

[Hidden in reply to MsTree]

Mstree

When I was younger I did not have the money to move out and that caused a great deal of grief. My Parents had been problematic when I was at school and I was stuck there until I was twenty six. Eventually I did move out and got hell from the two of them and siblings. All complications, eventually they fell out with me my Wife and myself. I could do nothing right.. for doing wrong. Eventually we move from flat to semi Detached.

You need help to consider what you want in your life, remember you have a life with all the decisions that come with those.

It is going to be difficult however I feel you will come through this disruption after making some decisions

Good Luck

BOB

[Hidden]

I am thinking of stem cell therapy, if you look on the internet stem cell therapy results, there are some children returning to normal!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

People with autism are normal. They just think and act different. Just like a deaf or blind child would. if you would like advice on autism please ask as I am autism and do not want any stem cell therapy. I just want to be accepted for who I am. I am willing to help you. How old is your grand child?

[MsTree in reply to Hidden]

My grandson is so freaking smart and funny. I am an empath so it has been easy for me to read what his ways of communication mean. He is a very happy child and we have so much fun. My great Uncle was autistic. They didn't know in the 40's what that word even was. But when I hear stories about him, I know that he was. I believe Cam sees things far beyond the way we see them. I can tell when he is disgusted by something. I know when he doesn't want to be touched or bothered. I just know. And we have the best relationship. Being an empath can be a burden as I pick up on others feel as though they were my own. I'm learning to hone this gift for good and not my demise.

[Delzek in reply to Hidden]

Julie Victoria I have an Autistic younger Brother who also has learning difficulties and a borderline personality disorder! I think the world of him even when he's a pain in the neck, I didn't know he existed until I was in my 30s, he was the result of my father's fling and eventual marriage to his Mother ( she was our babysitter) No one else in my family have anything to do with him which is sad! My Father who was a Navy man looked after him When his Mother died until he couldn't anymore, I believe that is the only reason my Father got back in contact with me! Sadly my Father has also died and I am his next of kin. Being Autistic doesn't mean what some ignorant people think. My Brother is great with numbers, yet has difficulties reading and writing I don't think that's part of the Autism. I remember many many years ago I was going out with a very pretty girl who I didn't know until her father told me was Autistic! I would like to know what people call "Normal" ? I was classed as "Thick" at school, told I wouldn't amount to anything. I left at 13 yet still got my "O"and "A"levels by 15.5 years of age went Into the Army, did a bursary course and got my degree at uni . So what is Normal? I used to get chatted up by the Pretty girls yet always thought I was at the end of the queue with my looks? What is Normal? Autism is more Normal than people seem to realise! Autism comes in many shapes and forms, yet some don't think people with Autism are Normal! WHY? As I have said and firmly believe Autism is a process of thinking you can't tell by looking at a person and mostly you can't tell by talking to them either! People with Autism think differently sometimes to others, yet they can digest information better sometimes,and they can work out solutions for difficult problems quicker sometimes. There are those who have different mannerisms, speech patterns etc who the ignorant think all Autistic people have, Well they are wrong just as many so called specialists are wrong! Autism can be a beautiful thing in some people! I just Wish everyone knew that, specially my Brother Paul and his other Relatives! Take care and all the best Derek