I’ve noticed that i have this pattern of trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of me instead of living for myself and not caring about other people’s views of me
When I was younger I was always expected to follow the rules and never question authoritarian figures and then also growing up in a religious household i was also always expected to live life according to biblical rules , I’ve always felt like a slave in a sense simply because if ever i were to rebel , trouble would somehow follow
As i got older i noticed that the pattern of thinking carried on in my friendships and relationships , if ever i felt like I’d upset someone or disappointed them somehow I always feel like “i cant do anything right”
Idk truly if these past instances are the cause of my current behavior but nevertheless i want to live and think carefree , for me