How To Deal With Increased Medication?

First for some background, I'm already on three different medications. Zoloft, Wellbutrin XL, and Lamictal.

I've never been good at taking meds, when I was a kid it was drilled into my brain that meds are bad unless you have no other choice. But don't take them if you don't have to kinda thing. Just standard farm logic I guess haha. Super glue instead of bandages logic, etc.

Well I went to the doctors (which isn't bad enough because 'if you have to go to the doctors office during Corona something is wrong'). I thought I had a cyst on the bottom of my foot. But the specialist says its Plantar Fibroma. Basically that's the tendon on the bottom of your foot having an inflared area (that's my understanding at least). So here's my problem.....

I have to ice my foot 3 times a day, which isn't the issue. The issue is I have to take, of course, more pills. But, the first day meds, today, you have to take 6. Then 5 tomorrow, 4 the next day, one less every day until they're gone.

I tried to overdose on pills when I was younger. That, plus cutting sent me to the hospital for the first time. Every time I look at this package of pills, I feel nauseous. I feel like I can't even take my normal 3 pills today. I just feel like crying today, and hurting myself. I just feel....horrible. It doesn't help I can't go anywhere public since Corona is still locking everyone away. I'm honestly kind of scared. My partner comes home around 7:30PM.

Does anyone have some advice how I can calm down and take my meds?

Thank you, stay safe everyone.

[Dolphin14]

The message that was drilled into your head seems to be a big part of the problem. Who else knows better about " absolutely necessary" than you do.

If depression was effecting your quality of life and you required meds, that's your decision to make. You and your MD work together on that.

The new med is short term and it's going to do its job to make you feel better. Each day just tell yourself you only have so many left to take.

Please take care of yourself. I know first hand old messages stick with us for a long time. Tell yourself your meds are " absolutely necessary" to help you live the best life you can.

[Angel533]

I never wanted to go on tablets and for a while I was getting my medication but not taking them because I had tried depression tablets about 10 years before and didn't like how they made me feel, I eventually started taking my medication ( lamictal) and it's really helped Me, I get days when I'm irritable and down ect but nowhere near like I did before taking them, there is no way on earth I could go back to not taking them and being suicidal again , I hope that helps in some way