Not giving up no matter what

[thrillseeker]

Hello there as it stands I haven’t posted for some time due to really poor mental health and so on.... right where to start first of all I had this injury that isn’t getting any better so yes one can say things with out even thinking about the out come of it I say things all the time with out thinking and the main problem is I shouldn’t have said it at all I see that now because I have nearly ended my life multiple times walking up to the Peak District to end it all because I say lift your top to my stepdaughter I am not a sec offender and due to this one thing I am going to court, the social worker wouldn’t talk to me she told my partner that if I stay in the family home we would risk losing all out children I am sure there maybe loads of people out there that may what’s to judge me but clearly if you do then please know the facts as me and my stepdaughter would joke about stuff like that like when her mum walks in the same room we would both say shhhh and not while your mum is here and so on, I am in a crisis house that should have ended yesterday but because I ran off Sunday evening they called the police and I managed to clear my head and I was on my way back clearly because my partner told me if I was to end my life we can’t get married and I wouldn’t see my kids grow up and how heart breaking that would be on them all, I turned around and on my way back the police rang me and said we have had a report for your safety and well-being, as I said to the officer on the phone I said well if your talking to me there is no concern... and I said i was going back to the crisis house he then asked me to explain where I was and if I could stick to the road I said yeah sure I will keep jogging down this road Whitley wood road and when I get to the end I will stop and wait for your officer to collect me and we can talk when I am back at the crisis house, patrol van pulls up and I get in as he asked me what my intention was I replied well I was going to go to a bridge and end it he then added well am glad you didn’t because we have already had one today and he’s in a critical condition, arriving back at the crisis house I open up to the staff and tell them all though diazepam helps it doesn’t stop the thoughts and me wanting to end my life, the officer said to be honest ian if it hadn’t had been you that made that choice to turn around things would be different and I would have been held under wha ever section he said the main focus is that I am trying to get better and stay with my family my partner is the best and I love her more than she knows

[Hidden]

It is important to love and acknowledge your feelings for your family. Equally important is you and what you want and wish for. Your feelings to be strong for your family, is what you needed to give you strength. Hopefully you can find inner strength, too

[thrillseeker]

Wow thanks I can’t even talk to my own family at times I find that hard and when your family is second guessing what I am trying to explain