Instead of feeling suicidal he now ju... - Mental Health Sup...

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Instead of feeling suicidal he now just feels nothing at all.

pugm4mm4 profile image
6 Replies

Feeling desperate, my husband has been on venlafaxine for approx 5 years, last month dose was increased to 300 mg per day, he is like a zombie, no emotions, no interest in anything, no sex drive, no energy, completely withdrawn and now wants to end our marriage. Am i clutching at straws to hope that the medication could be contributing to this? I dont want to walk away from 9 years of marriage if there's a chance it could be the medication. Its like instead of feeling suicidal he now just feels nothing at all.

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6 Replies

For anything to happen, he must want change. Herbs and spices lift mood such as Holy Basil Tea and other things, getting to the taste of thigs to lift mood or change or music and doing activities that analyse what you might be thinking, needs work on. Just thinking to change the mood is good and then it is down to the counsellor to help your marriage

How long has He been on the increased dose.

Is your husband normally at work, if not that might also cause problems and it may be something similar that is causing his mood.

Sometimes with this type of medication He may feel very flat and pulling Himself away as He sinks deeper due to his Depression. Sometimes the medication can effect Sex Drive although sometimes dependent on age that may be a problem

If low that may affect His mood towards you, possibly medications may amplify His emotions towards you. It is hard work sometimes if He is also loosing confidence,

Try not to push just talk to Him and discuss How He Feels and why He is feeling the way He is;

Sometimes patients can consider changes in life, there may be self blame and that can cause impulsive feelings and actions

Is He having any CBT ?

BOB

pugm4mm4 profile image
pugm4mm4 in reply to

thank you for your reply, he has been on the increased does 7 weeks, he refuses counselling as he has had it many years ago and says it doesnt work, he refuses to talk to me about anything and instead confides in another woman he befriended whilst walking the dogs, a friendship that he has kept secret from me.

in reply topugm4mm4

One other problem can be associated with Mood Changes and considering so called changes, changes in life, it may be He is seeing this woman as in the plan for Life changes.

However, does this woman know she may be part of these changes. Sometimes some various changes may not be anything that has legs.

However this needs to be approached by proactive means. Yes His so called changes may be positive in His Eyes, even yours however you need a rational discussing on His future plans. Given that I would consider you going to see the Family Doctor and explain how you are feeling and see what can be suggested. A possible reduction in this drug may be advisable or possibly a new drug selected. Some form of Therapy needs to be considered. Is He managing his own medication ?

Sometimes the need for change is very strong, however does this woman know how ill your husband is.

I know in my case I do go very quiet now on occasions and that can last for several days. When I am like this my Wife feels uneasy because of my past actions, generally I am left alone and my Wife goes out and does the garden. Try not to be there when He needs something, that might work, see HOW MUCH HE RELIES ON YOU, that can be one approach

BOB

Bonkersy profile image
Bonkersy

I'm on 375mg Venlafaxine, and s h a red all your husband's feelings when my dose was increased. I've no idea where my libido went, but however much I love my husband I have no libido at all.

I would say that all the emotions or lack of them are normal during bouts of depression (as are polar opposites).

pugm4mm4 profile image
pugm4mm4

He was unable to see his doctor as he went off sick for 2 weeks and he won’t see anyone else, we are unable to put the house on the market because of lockdown and are now just going through the motions while sleeping in separate beds! It’s killing me! He has no plans for what he wants to do next, he hasn’t told his family that he wants to split up but he has detached himself from me emotionally completely, we are polite strangers living in the same house while he goes about his normal routine and i am left surplus to requirements. Lockdown being the perfect excuse for him not to have to face up to his choice to end our marriage!

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