I’m not clinically depressed or anything. It’s just my fear of failure I feel really unsure and try to hurt myself (not cause physical harm). Especially when I fail.
Yesterday I was so depressed in my sleep I woke up with my hand chocking me. I didn’t have nightmare I was aware of but I was depressed the following day and all my thoughts were suicidal.
Any solutions I should do?
Don’t say go see a dr or therapist. I’m not comfortable sharing my emotions because I easily get over them over time.
You can talk to me anytime and share your feelings
You need someone to help you - friend or family. You need to control your thoughts, easier with someone
Hi jaggedness, firstly reaching out to us on here is a very brave move and the first step. You say you easily get over your emotions over time, I was similar but i would eventually bury mine as I never dealt with them, I did that for 20-30 years before I hit my crisis point (am sure everyone hits this point at different times) but for me my crisis point was when I initially self harmed and then planned in detail my suicide (I even wrote the letters) - I eventually got of this emotion but only because I had my son with me that day and knew I’d never do anything that would leave him open to harm so by the time I dropped him back at my ex’s my crisis was over but I knew I needed help as I’d hit the lowest point I could get to. So whilst I understand your reluctance to talk about these things I do truly believe talking to someone therapist or even a very close friend/family member would be helpful, I’ve been to see one on a regular basis for a while and she has helped me to order my thoughts and explore why I feel certain things. I’ve also found it a lot easier to open up to a complete stranger than I do opening up to family and friends but by being open with her it has also meant I’ve been able to start being honest with others that are close to me. You don’t even have to tell them everything to start with but you’ll find that once you start it may be the way to help you past this stage.
Good luck with everything and if nothing else keep posting on here let us help you
I'm sorry you are going through this, I live with this as well and much like you I am unable to see a therapist although my reason is that I'm too shy to voice my problems to a stranger. I wish I had a magic solution but I don't, I'm guessing that it does take talking to someone but I know that is not in the cards right now for some of us. There are online and chat crisis lines that can be helpful, perhaps texting is easier than speaking for you? It is for me. I hope that you find some way to alleviate your suffering.
Sorry you are sad, a great way to sort that out is to look for diversions or hobbies you can try and enjoy.
My best experience in the past was learning to dance Ballroom, Old Thyme and Latin American. I used to meet many people that became friends, and sometimes I would go out on dates although many people were dance partners and that helped if we were alone we would always have a partner.
Sometimes at Night Class they have dancing Lessons, and they go through the basics with you and again you will meet new people. I would be out dancing three nights a week, Modern, 50/5O and old Thyme.
I also found going swimming or going out for a Bike ride seemed to increase positive feelings in my Brain, and all helped me keep ahead of my negative thoughts.
The problem with our Mental Health we dwell on negative things and the more we consider our sadness, depression or Anxiety, Sometimes if you cannot drive, learn this will also help you gain confidence
BOB
How do I get out 
How do i make it stop?
Resilience. How do you do it?
Desperate and alone with two children. Why do I hate my life?
So sad I can't take it
