Hi I'll try and make this brief but my 22 year old son is seriously depressed right now he has been on and off for 7 years but since January it's become critical. he lost his job bevause he was off work sick and jobless since. he's on universal credit rents his own flat but due to the severity of his depression he doesn't and can't face leaving to go to appointment or apoly for jobs so of course he's always sanctioned. we have had to try and pay his rent bills everything and we are very close so I see him twice a week and chat daily but he has mentioned suicide frequently not as a wild threat he has plans in place. I went in January to the doctors to try antidepressants but he won't take them I can't force him at 22...my long winded question is how can I get him signed off and referred to the crisis team he refused to see a doctor as he is ashamed and won't open up to anyone but me..can I contact them myself as his mum and get a home visit bevause he'll talk when I'm there and it didn't help that the doctor last time was very patronising about depression and didn't take him seriously bevause he clams up and won't tell them how extreme his wanting to end his life are..i spoke but the doctor said he doesn't listen to mothers as they exaggerate and worry over nothing @@ I was fuming..i really dread the nights when he won't answer his phone or messages as I am terrified hes done something..
what can I do when he won't see anyone himself
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he isn't answring his phone right now or tonight so I can't get hold of him plus he locks his door from the inside so he knows I can't get to see him...i have literally said I'll drag him to the doctors to be referred to mental health but I can't get him out of bed...it'll be worse if I suggest A and e as he'll say it's not an emergency and clam up when they try and talk...hence why that doctor thought I was lying because my son just sat there quiet wouldn't open up..
plus how could I validate going to A and E what could I say?
Sorry, just that was the advice given to me by Adult Mental Health Services in my area when they discharged me - "if you feel you are unable to keep yourself safe, are planning or have taken steps to end your life, you should go to A&E and ask to be assessed by Psychiatric Liason". Therefore I just passed the advice along. If you notice everyone has suggested A&E as one way of getting support. Take it or leave it
Hi he has to see a doctor so he can be signed off sick and claim the esa element of uc instead of jsa. Explain this to him as it's the only way to get proper help x
Thank you he was supposed to claim esa not UC but as he registered without me they said he was fit to look for work after his sick note ran out..he didn't tell me this at the time. there's a waiting list at his doctors for an appt til end of October which is too late hes in a bad place right now...can this be classed as an emergency appt if I ring on the day?
As he had a sick note before the doctor might do it over the phone so no harm in asking. I am sure if you explain the situation they would be able to do something x
I am sorry to learn of your anguish and depression is a terrible thing. Would your son speak to someone that really understand by telephone? There is an organisation Chris's House they can be contacted online and by phone and by visiting, they have a residential element for people in your son's situation.
There is no shame to being depressed and it is important that he speaks to someone or emails them for support. He can also go to A&E at his local hospital. I wish you both peace of mind and hope.
Hi this might work for him, to him it will harsh, but he has to make those appointments. Go to your local sheriff's department and ask him about your son's problems and tell them he could hurt himself if he doesn't get help. Ask them how to go about getting a court order for your son, to make he goes to his appointments, so he can get the help he needs. My friend did this to her son, and he couldn't say no, because he would gone to jail if he missed his appointments, plus her son couldn't avoid it. So maybe you start there and what they can do for your. God bless you and family
I’m so sorry to hear your position, and send you both my very best wishes. I am in a similar position, and have been for the last 20 months, with my own son who is now 21. He too lost his job due to his illness which is very acute.
Go to the GP and demand to see a different doctor if first doesn’t take you seriously and you should be referred to psychological therapies. These people may refer to Crisis Team but my son only got the Crisis Team when he actually had Crisis followed by hospital admission. If applicable, GP can refer your son to Early Intervention Psychosis Team(EIP) and they will offer planned, ongoing support.
Alternatively, go to A&E where a mental health doctor or nurse will assess your son. We found A&E to be a good source of help but the wait can be long.
Please remember treatment standards are mixed, to say the least and that medication alone is rarely beneficial without good psychological therapies. Waiting lists are long but be prepared to pester and push for appointments if you possibly can. I found that my son experienced several crises, and these were what got him the help. This is a sorry state of affairs, but sadly very true. The patient has to engage with the treatment offered, and I found that to be a stumbling block which I couldn't do anything about.
If your son is signed off sick, then he shouldn’t have to sign for Universal Credit until deemed fit for work. Again, insist on seeing understanding GP. You should also apply for PIP; you can do forms on behalf of your son.
Good luck. I feel for you both and fully understand the acute level of anxiety you are living under. Please let me know if I can help further. Ours has been a long and lonely journey.
Hi have you checked out what they advise on the mind website?
As far as I know he needs to be seen by a gp to be referred to mental health, definitely see another one, or maybe talk to the docs surgery yourself and say you’re worried and what can you do.
If you can take him to a&e he will be assessed and will more likely get some help quicker, make sure you can get him to open up a bit.
Also I don’t know where about you are but there are other charities that can help, talkingspace plus runs therapy groups and mind does too.
Also you might be able to get him a support worker, which would help with the benefit side, getting the right things in place.
My mother had my brother committed when he was in his 30's not easy but she had too suicide is the worst death of any those we leave behind suffer by far too much explain to son that loves and looks up to you close relationship just how it would effect you and his death would destroy you I know yrs of depression myself so reach out to facilities even if you commit him it could be the best gift you could ever give him
If you are concerned about His safety, and your GP can not really treat or if Your Son will reduce medications or stops taking His Medications your GP can arrange an assessment by a Mental Health Team.
If your Son is in danger, you can call Tel 111 NHS iNFORMATION LINE and explain the situation you find your son in. Various options are available at this point, including hospital or a visit via Crisis Team,they will approach His Doctor with a report on His Mental Health
In my case I am listed by the Pensioner/ Old age Team and my wife can call their office and arrange assistance for me or my Wife. His GP can arrange an assessment for a section and call out a Crisis Team to visit your Son, the problem you have is His Wishes. He can suggest a Voluntary Section if He is feeling at risk, the other way through your GP would be a Compulsory Section. Generally in many cases a section is a stepping up and is very serious.
Sometimes serious considerations need to be met and understood before theSection is enacted. Mental Health generally is treatable within Society, Hospital is really the last option
You need to try to get Him to the GP and possibly try some CBT Talking Therapy, they can then work it from there. A and E in Hospital can be approached if His health is deteriorating they can arrange the Crisis Team to visit at home or hospital.
You need to understand being an adult, He does have certain rites, However if He is a danger to you or others also himself a compulsory section may need to be considered call the Information Line above or Tel 999 if things are becoming out of control and safety is at risk.
I sympathise with you.. I had similar experience s of being treated like an ignorant , over anxious mum when I was trying to access help for my son too.
You could try asking your gp to put you in touch with your local mental health crisis team?
Have you considered suggesting to you son that he could ask for an urgent telephone appointment with a gp that he feels most comfortable with?
Talking on the phone may be less stressful than going to the surgery?
Thank you so much for all your help and advice. I've had a panicked 48 hours as I couldn't get hold of my son but I did at last I had a long chat and he'sagreed I can come with him to see the doctor when he gets registered with this new one hopefully this week as he hated the way he was dismissed and disbelieved at his old doctors I've got plenty of time to talk to him and make him realise although he says he's too proud yo open up to the doctors I keep telling him over and over not to be ashamed depression is not a sign of weakness and nothing at all to be ashamed of. I'll also going to see his work coach on Friday to explain he will be getting signed off unfit for work and take it from there. he won't open up anyone else about his wanting to just not be here but little steps.. if he can some financial security with our help too it's one less worry....he was signed off sick for 8 weeks earlier this year but wouldn't seek benefits we paid for his needs but he has to get his finances and benefits sorted as I don't see him crawling out of this awful black hole anytime soon..it takes time I've been there sadly..but once again thank you all so much it's meant a lot
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