I am so worried about my brother. Myself and my parents don't know where to turn/what to do. My brother is depressed, struggles to get up for work and day to day activites and his anger and rage is awful. Just trying to get him up in the mornings for work- he spits at my dad in the face, hits my mum and shouts abuse. He tells them how its all their fault. He has recently moved home as split from his girlfriend. He always regrets actions afterwards but he has already done the damage. He has been like this for years and years and no one can get through to him. We have all supported him/tried to help but we cannot go on like this. My mum and dad can't stand the abuse any longer.

The worst bit is that I know he's not a bad guy, he doesn't mean it but he just goes around in circles and won't accept help. He is late 20s

What can we do?!

5 Replies

  • Somehow you need to get him to engage with medical services, but this sounds difficult.

    Maybe you could use his regretful times to address this. There are techniques and people who could help if he is prepared to engage.

    Look for any scope for development through friends and activities.

    Very difficult and the prospect of things getting worse with job loss, isolation, drugs, alcohol and police.

  • Goldfish is right. He needs help. I'm sorry that you're in this position. It's worth checking this out too...


  • Hi, the only thing I could add to that good advice is if you go talk to your doctor yourself about his behaviour, I had to do that when I was married regarding my husband. He wouldn't get help but after I spoke to my doctor some help was put in place.the doctor did a home visit and arranged for a counciller to come to our house.

  • Is he in therapy or on medication? I know it's a severe step, but you can call the police and have him held for observation in the psych ward. This may help since he is so young.

  • Might sound harsh, but action is imperative especially if he hits your mum it sounds more like the action of a bully and it will only escalate. You must get him out of the house before some one is seriously hurt. Its no time to be soft you need him out and when out then try and sort some help. Sorry if i sound harsh but it the violence will only get worse as he now know he is in charge and not his parents.