Is this acceptable?

[idontno]

Is it acceptable that my children’s father is forbidding me to talk to any males , as he doesn’t trust me. Due to me cheating. I have tried to explain that I want to move on and don’t feel the same anymore, he keeps saying I must prove I’m sorry, this is not acceptable to him he says we have a family so have to b together,

[hypercat54]

Sorry I am a bit confused. Are you guys still together or have you separated now? Do you want to leave him or try again? Not quite sure. x

[kenster1]

hi you don't need to be with someone just because your husband and wife just for the sake of the kids.its not fair on anyone including your husband.resentment takes over and things just become more difficult if he cant move on.its wrong to cheat under any circumstances but he cant forbid you to talking to men.thats not feasible in any way sounds like hes became paranoid.if you have admitted your mistakes and remain faithful since then your doing your part but maybe he need some support.

[Hidden in reply to kenster1]

I agree 100percent with kenster1...PLUSZ,in my personal opinion..No one should tell another (they love )what to do".If ur both adults then it shouldn't even be an issue.If ur married then u should have ur best friend beside you..love doesn't save a marriage or relationship . If u don't have TRUST in a relationship, u shouldnt be in that relationship.

[Hidden]

I feel you have deceived your Family with your actions, it is now up to you to try and put things back on a level footing, your Husband may have had his trust affected by your actions, it may take time to regain His trust and respect. You have just possibly affected your children and this could have disrupted your family unit

You are going to have to work on gaining every ones trust and expectations of you. You went off, came back now work on putting things right

I understand what your husband is saying, it may be hypothetical, You have failed the family

move on and sort this out, it seems you have done wrong, now pay the Piper

BOB

[Angel533 in reply to Hidden]

Maybe the kids dont know and we don't know the circumstances,yes it's wrong to cheat and she has to make it right if she wants to stay with him but I get the impression she wants it to be over,I think it being over would be the best thing for both of them.

[purpletomcat]

You've been honest and told him what you've done, its understandable how he feels. Trust could take years to build up again and even then there will always be the element of doubt in his mind. If he is that paranoid though about it happening again it's a sign that it may just end up with both of you feeling miserable in a relationship you feel obliged to be in. Don't do that, it's not worth it. That's partly why I'm now in therapy.

[Dolphin14]

I wouldn't call him paranoid. It did happen. He's upset and has lost trust.

In order to gain back someone's trust you have to prove you are trust worthy.

Mayb some counseling would help you both? If you are both willing to participate.

You broke your vows. As sorry as you may be, and for whatever reason you did it, doesn't automatically mean you are going to be forgiven and trusted again.

[Humanintraining]

Go into councelling, the both of you.

Talk about this with a professional.

Obviously you're misguided and can't rely on your own choices.

You cheated.

Obviously he's misguided and you can't rely on him.

He's stopping you from having human contact with half the world population, and telling you to show him how you feel while he'll question everything you attempt to show him anyway.

My point being, you both need some guidance, and directed to the pair of you, which you won't find here.

Perhaps he/she will tell you to split.

Perhaps he/she will allow you both to trust and love eachother again and have a loving stable family.

What this person will do, for sure, is provide you both with perspective and maybe a peaceful and loving way out of this mess.

Doesn't even need to be a councellor, just someone whose insight and authority you respect above your own. Which shouldn't be too hard, you apparently both kind of suck at this.

You're both fucking up but not all is lost here.

Sincerely good luck.

I'd volunteer to come and talk sense into the both of you but I probably don't live nearby enough.

[Siraaamar in reply to Humanintraining]

Wow!!!!!! Your response is amazing 👌🏼