I'm 43 going through hell and it's a long story
My whole life I've felt there was something wrong with me
I was constantly off school due to differing health issues but have no childhood memories....... Until recently and now have only one
I left school without any qualifications
Started working but lost every job I had through time keeping
Met my now wife at 17 and have never been apart from her since she is my everything And we have 4 wonderful kids together 19 16 13 10
In 96 after lots of visits to the Gp I was diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia (sleep disorder) and have been unable due to it since (I have tried but again lost each job due to time keeping or falling asleep)
Over the years I've been on many different types of antidepressants and only found 1 that worked ....... what I thought was well
That was around 10+ years ago till December and even tho the gp put the prescription on repeat I often noticed that my review was months or years overdue
But now my life is in turmoil..... I have huge chunks of memories missing ...... not like days or weeks but loads of meaningful conversations discussions and arguments with my wife and I felt the pills are to blame
I often felt obsession over things and that the thoughts were not my own but didn't associate anything with the pills as they kept me feeling level .......no matter what was thrown at me and was often described as being so laid back I was horizontal
Anyway in December my wife who used to do a lot for charity causes attending and helping was raped at knifepoint but when she came home and told me ...... Something happened and I'm now loosing her
Instead of being a caring loving partner that I should of been the shock of it turned me nasty ....... I don't mean physical I mean emotionally unstable unattached and said somethings I didn't want to say
But now please believe me as I feel no one does but the shock of hearing her tell me made me have an out of body experience and although I could see that nasty dirty rude uncaring scum kneeling on the floor saying those things to her ...... It was not me, I was stood in the corner of the room in disamay at what was happening but couldn't stop it
And at that point I realised that I needed of those pills as that was NOT me but the damage had been done and I can't take that back and I went cold turkey off the flouoxetine
Now 8 months later still feel those pills have done me over but what's worse have destroyed my life and my marriage
Mistakes have been made and trust destroyed on her part but I've drove my wife away and she's looking elsewhere to live as we speak
I've just spent the last 8 weeks begging and pleading her to stay but she can't see past what I've done
Now let's get up to date 2 or 3 days ago I started to have memories only vague and not complete but they are not nice and I'm starting to think that where the pills are coming out my system they are unlocking lots of boxes in my head ....... I don't want to say what it is
I feel that a lot of my issues may all relate to this and have been misdiagnosed due to being locked away