Fed up and lost hope

[philbou]

Hi

I’ve never had mental problems before

But a sustained period of extreme stress

Made me question everything

I feel utterly depressed and down

And can’t see anything improving anymore

Fed up of life picking on me

It used to be good But now I don’t want to live it anymore it has no meaning It’s lost it’s shine

In the last eight years

I’ve lost my mum to cancer

Lost my eldest sister to cancer

Had a sister who drank herself to death

Looked after my elderly father and watched him get dementia until he’s had to go into a care home

Had a granddaughter born with a nueroblastoma cancer she’s overcome this and is thriving

Got a third granddaughter due going to be born with kidney problems pckd

And last March my wife had a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage and had a serious stroke and extensive brain damage she’s in recovery now but will be left with serious disabilities

Wtf have I done to deserve this

All through this I kept down a job and worked hard

I finding it really hard to cope with out hope

I’ve lived a good life seen many beautiful things and places

I’ve travelled and loved it

Life is such a xxxxxxx that I hate it now

I despair at how people treat each other

The constant media lies perpetuated every day

The dross and droll of just dealing with people in everyday life

The constant jumping through hoops and filling in forms to keep someone else in a job

I’m doing my xxxxxxx best Why punish me more

Doctors not helping

Counselling not helping

I’ve got terrible insomnia

And a bad back

I don’t believe in god. I’m unloved

Just want to feel better

[Hidden]

I have a son with autism at times I get pretty down but then I see how hard he is trying and it makes me feel better. I wish I had normal functioning brain individual but am grateful I have him at all. You can only make a difference in your life, you have to strive and use all your brain power to make situation work. It is up to you to be enthusiastic about life and interests you have to pick up

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Philbou

Thank you for your message.

I am sorry that you have gone through so much yet seem to be very hardworking.

I realise that you don’t feel doctors are helping. But you may want to talk again to get more help.

It can help to write things down. Do you have anyone to talk with about all that has happened.

I had to delete some words that are offensive. Please check the community guidelines for this group.

Mind have a website and helpline Www.mind.org

0300 123 3393

Cruse at cruse.org may be helpful for the bereavements that you have gone through.

The topics and pinned posts might have more help and support for you.

Do le us know how you are getting on

Best wishes

[hopeful_7]

It’s no surprise that you are questioning your life these days as you have been through a lot and experienced just how hard and seemingly unfair it can be at times. It probably does feel as if you are being punished when all you’ve tried to give it is your best. Unfortunately as we get older the random nature of negative life events will accumulate for many of us and all we can feel is a sense of loss. All this happening in a world which feels superficial and crazy making can throw us completely and cause such pain that we don’t want to go on anymore.

There are other people out there who are going through similar trials and giving mutual support can be helpful I found.

[philbou]

Sometimes it feels like I killed a robin