Hello

[Wanttobehapppy]

Trigger warning.

It’s been a very weird year with going bankrupt, i started smoking crack in February been clean for nearly 8weeks. A couple off overnight stays in hospital due to overdoses.

One off my friends whom i was taking drugs with has sadly passed away, i went to her memorial but I didn’t go to the funeral which was yesterday, i felt i said goodbye at the memorial should i off gone to the funeral??

I don’t know i feel as if i should off gone

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Wanttobehappy

Thank you for your message. It sounds as if you are having a bad time. Are you getting support staying off the crack and after the overdoses?

I put a trigger warning on your message as you mention overdoses and some of our members are very vulnerable.

It must be really hard losing a friend. You did the right thing going to the memorial and saying goodbye. It is so difficult at these times and there is no wrong or right.

You may want to consider some bereavement counselling when you feel it is the right time. Www.cruse.org.uk.

Our members are very helpful and might be able to offer you support from their experiences.

Www,mind.org have a helpline 0300 123 3393

The Samaritans are there 24hours a day on 116123

Do let us know how you are.

Best wishes

[Wanttobehapppy in reply to MAS_Nurse]

Thank you for your reply, i did have some support for the crack addiction from addaction here in lincoln i found that unhelpful as all it made me do was think about it more, i stayed away from the people who i was smoking it with then i found out my friend died from a heroin overdose, so much emotions as i was in contact with her trying my best to help such as telling her about the local services i was using.

Been prescribed diazepam been using more than i should on some days it seems to calm me down but my doctor has told me my body gets used to it been on that since April, to get to sleep i take zoplicone cant sleep with out it again the doctor said the same.

Ive tried mindfulness/meditation some times it works.

I’m 39 and have copd with a lung capacity off 63% been told it will never improve but im smoking 20 a day as sometimes i think to myself why do i want to live that long im fully aware off the out come if i carry on smoking.

I had bad asthma attacks when i was a child.

Sorry if this is distressing to other users and i do understand if this gets removed, i find it better to write things than talking to someone face to face.