Hurting heart

[mer10]

My biggest flaw is how much a care and love others. I love so hard that sometimes it messes me up when it isn't returned. In all types of relationship. Ive never had a good relationship with my mom because she's been very toxic and not a good person twords me. I'm really struggling because my heart wants this void to be filled but there is no replacement for a mom. I've had mother figures but I feel like no one wants me. Hurting hard right now 😕

[hypercat54]

Hi I could have written this as it described me too. My mother's toxic behaviour left a big hole in me too. In time though I learned to accept there was no way to get blood out of a stone, and whilst I agree there is no one like a good mother I found love and acceptance elsewhere. It's all you can do in the end and it's far better than nothing.

A counsellor once told me it's like being £100 overdrawn at the bank. What we automatically want is someone to give us the whole £100. What we need to do however is to start collecting £5 from one person, £10 from another, another few £5's and £10's and before we know it we have £75. Not the full amount but a lot better than nothing. x

[mer10]

Wow, thank you. I really like that way of thinking about it 💓

[Delzek]

Hi Mer10, I really feel for you .My younger sister has always believed my Mother did not Love her as much as her siblings, she could not have been more wrong !My Mother loved us all equally, and made it known that She would do anything for us within her capabilities!

Sadly my younger Sister refuses to believe this and again very sadly Mum isn't here to defend herself anymore! It hurts me that people can feel so unloved, I have a younger brother of 44 years old who has been in a home for adults with learning disabilities and borderline behaviour problems, he is my Father's son from another Lady, I only found out about him about 10/15 years ago he had a very upsetting childhood where I think the only person who had ever shown him love was my Father ( his wife died of cancer after many years of alcohol abuse unfortunately) my Father was in the Royal Navy so did not see the problems of my Brother's home life! My Father has also passed so I am the one that has to make sure his life is a bit easier, everyone needs love most importantly is that they feel cared for and happy Love is really a bonus! I have been in Love have felt being Loved! One day we all meet our soulmate, but we have to show them love without being clingy or over powering! Or we can lose them! I wish you well and hope Love finds you ! Don't look for love as searching for it can make you miss it !

[MsTree]

I, too, loove too much. Love hurts. I thought I had found true love and have believed in this illusion for 42 years. That's how long we've been married. I fooled myself and thought I was loved as much as I gave. Maybe he did love me that much for a while. I found out about his affair as well. I hung onto that love as my anchor in this world. How foolish of me. I couldn't stop myself from loving if I tried. It is who I am. I'm glad there are people like you in the world who have so much love to give. I wish there were more people like you.

[Delzek]

There are many many more People who show Love and are "Lovable" you will find that when you are not looking! I am best friend with my Soulmate (She loves me. But is no longer in Love with me, I understand what She means although it hurts I will always be there for Her) one day I hope you understand !Love is so difficult sometimes more so when it's not reciprocal,but life goes on then Love will find you! I really believe this!

Good Luck and all the best Mer10 Derek