I haven't had many good friends through-out my life. Mostly I've just been a punching bag mentally and emotionally. Once in a while physically, but not much. I've just been used for a very long time.
I wasn't popular in school, not even close. Which I didn't mind, helped me stay out of most of the xxxxxxxx I had a small group of friends. Some better than others but that's the same with every friend group right?
I started feeling used when my friends would only wanna hang out if I was driving them somewhere. I started working before all my other friends so I had to learn to drive as soon as possible, which meant I was driving as a freshman. I was used for rides, which I wouldn't have minded if we hung out other times or they offered gas money or whatever. Some of the same people would also only hang out if we were going somewhere to eat. Halfway through the meal or later they would ask if I could help them out with the bill if needed. I agreed, I'm always the person to help. But then it became me paying the full of their bill and not getting anything in return after they say they will pay me back. I guess that's how it started.
With most of my relationships I've been used in different ways. Mostly financially, but also in sexual, emotional, mental, and what I have as far as possession wise. Things that I have worked for that they want to take. And me being my dumbass, pretty much gave them what they wanted.
Only until my last relationship, where I was drained of at least $4,000 from my savings account (the rest of it), had three credit cards opened in my name (just finished paying them off with some help) and got in my car crash (which I could not pay for repairs so my parents helped me out), I started to stop being such a doormat. It's still hard to not say no, but it's for the best, as far as it goes for taking care of myself.
One of my friends in particular, we'll call him J. J has been my friend for YEARS. Probably since I was 14, so almost 7 years. I've been there for him through thick and thin. When he needed a shoulder to cry on or a place to stay, he came to me, and I helped him out. I even came up to visit my parents after moving, J called me (since he lives around there) and said he needed me, I told my parents I was going out and went straight to where he was. I've always had his back. He had mine too, most of the time. I didn't talk about myself much, but when I did, he was there to listen. He didn't know what to say most of the time, but he tried. And that's what I appreciated.
Long story short, J fell off the face of the earth one day. We usually talked all the time, but one day I messaged him and nothing. This went on for a few days. I reached out to one of our mutual friends, and they said he started dating some girl. Then it all made sense. Him dropping me, blocking me on social media, and not replying to me texts. So I wrote him a long text. Nothing mean at all. I told him congrats for getting a girlfriend (he had a crush on this girl for a while) and that I hope hes ok, that I'm still there for him. After that small message I added another part to the rest of it about how he was always bitching about people dropping him when they get in a relationships, and how he has done this several times before and left it at that. He replied, with a thumbs up emoji. From the day after Christmas, until about a month ago, he was gone.
When J started to message me back, he starting acting like nothing happened. He would always go on about him self. But for the first time, yesterday, he started the conversation with a simple hi and how are you. I said 'fine' like I usually did, but he asked what was wrong. I confronted him about what had happened with his ex. He started to make excuses, telling me he wasn't thinking, and he understands my frustration, and that he's sorry and it wouldn't happen again. But it has happened several times before. I asked him why, why did he leave without saying goodbye? If he didn't want to talk for a while or whatever that would've been fine. I just wanted him to tell me that. He said it wasn't HIM, HIS EX drove us apart and HIS EX cut us off. His ex sent the thumbs up. I asked if he knew she did that. His reply was, "she said 'someone' texted me and not to worry about it". 1. If he didn't see it, that means she deleted it. 2. if your significant other isn't telling you who is texting you, something is up. He also said "she must've deleted you off all my social media and phone and such while I was sleeping". Soooooo, she just happened to forget I was on Facebook and deleted me after replying to me? I just can't, I told him goodnight and I would talk to him later.
For the longest time of my life I've felt so disposable. I've felt like I could just be thrown away in the blink of an eye. And that's what happens a lot. When something better comes up or they've used me for what they want and are now done with me, they leave and don't come back. I just really want to understand why people are like this? Why do people think it's acceptable?
I wanted to ask, do you guys think I'm over-reacting? Or is it ok I'm still upset about this?
my boyfriend left me because of my mental health and I feel very alone 
crisis team help for my son.
Found myself here out of desperation! My love life is so complicated! 
Narcissistic ‘friend’
Umm...I overheard my dad talking on the phone and I wish I didn't
