My depression has got worse lately so I went for an asessment at the doctors today. Basically I was told just to carry on with the strategies I have in place. I realise depression doesnt go away but I thought I might have more help other than carry on with what Im doing. I go to the gym three times a week. Given up alcohol. Doing everthing Im supposed to do. It was suggested I increase my activity. Maybe going for a walk or bike ride.
I have done cbt and various other courses so the doctor couldnt really offer me anything else. I was offered a stress management course but it might be something I have done before.
I have been off work with this illness but it was suggested I get back to work and get back to 'normal'.
This wont change the way I feel. What do I do?
David
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Golfer15
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Hello David, I have read your post. It must have been really frustrating for you to go to the doctors and just to be told to carry on with the strategies you are using when you are feeling worse, so even though I'm not quite sure what to advise I wanted to offer you some support on here. I've probably already mentioned it but I would recommend the book Depressive Illness: The Curse of the Strong Chris Cantopher to you. It is a very common sense book and basically describes the type of personalites who get depressed ( very organised people with a social conscience and who tend to push themselves;
they are the "doers in this world) and how they get depressed (they push themselves too hard due sometimes to feeling they have to prove their worth by being overly good at everything) and also how it will affect you (you feel like you have blown a fuse because you have!) and what to do. Rest, relaxation, being nice to yourself, anti-depressants and gradually re-evaluating one's priorities and the various types of counselling and the theories behind them. I really think you could find that book useful. It is very matter of fact; I really like the book; it sort of sums everything up. I had not realised before all the different types of depression.The book is aimed at people who fit into the category of people I have just described, but it also covers briefly the other types of depression. (as in my case I think my depression is more like an identity of low self esteem and anxiety that I've developed because of my past emotional background ) which would explain why counselling rather than anti-depressants may work for me as I may not be clinically depressed but may have pockets of "damage" in my personality from the trauma of my upbringing. There is also bi-polar which is a different type of depression from clinical depression and post natal depression which is different too.
I guess it could be that you need to just carry on what you are doing, but also I think you need the emotional support of expressing yourself on here and hopefully knowing that we are rooting for you.
It seems like you've done the right thing giving up alcohol; going to the gym 3 times a week is ok as long as you dont overtire youself. The advice in the book is to pace yourself. If for example you have a job to do do it in very bite size chunks and then leave it have a little rest and go back to it. It must be difficult being a father and all the things you have to do with your kids when you are depressed. I think its important that you look after you as much as possible and wait for your nerves to calm down a little. When we've had a fuse blow we have to give our body time to recuperate.
Although it is wise not to take too long off work as it can be harder to go back, going back too early can merely make the situation worse. It does not sound like you are ready at all at the moment and you need to tell your doctor that.
Hopefully you've got people to talk to on here and we can help. Gemmalouise xx
I lived with depression and anxiety most of my life. I started going to the gym a lot too and other things. Today I just feel like staying in bed. I am retired now but in my working life, I never liked to tell people I worked with about my depression. I kept that to myself. I thought I would type in how I was feeling and came up with this website. It's interesting to read and makes me feel better already knowing I have company. The depression goes away when I work out. It's just getting to the gym. Like a 1000 lb. weight is holding me back from getting to the door. Most people would say I'm lazy but that's not the reason for this sadness. I gave up alcohol for nine years then went back to drinking. Today, I keep eating when I get out of bed instead of being busy. I guess I'm looking for comfort food. I don't know. I've gone to counseling. I hope you're feeling better in that you don't suffer this alone.
in self-help group i got to know that eating is side effect of mirtazepine. now i've started different medication.
and in my case swimming is what i can do and there were milj of reasons why i couldn't go. and then one day just mentioned to my daughter that i could possibly go to the pool today and also at the same time i listed many reasons why i can't go. she waved away all my excuses. finally i'm at the parking lot and see loads of cars. i've never before seen there that many of them... and called my daughter and told her that there are a lot of cars. i was scared. i know how silly this sound but that's the truth. and she just told me not all of those people are in the pool. it was not about what she said. i think that i just needed someone who supported me saying don't be afraid or just to have that feeling being understood.
Sorry to hear that you feel a bit let down by your Doctor.
What exactly were you hoping the Dr. Would say! You have
Done the CBT, you are doing some good things to help yourself,
So apart from Psychotherapy what more can the Doctor Do.
A GP is not an expert in Mental health , you need to get a referral
To a Psychiatrist, and get him to review everything, I never go to my GP, with Depression .and I have a Psychiatrist
I see regularly.
Unfortunately there is no magic bullet or no perfect solution
For Depression. I suppose that is hard to accept. Have you accepted you Depression David?
It's hard when you have children, trying to cope with Depression,
What's helped me is Medication, Excercise. Diet and Social
Support. Having someone to confide in is very important. Having
Interests or Hobbies and finding a passion.
David as I have gotten older I am coping much better with
depression. It does get easier, of course I am saying all
This to you without knowing your exact symptoms.
Think about what you would like to change in your life? I sense
The job you were doing was not suitable for your personality
Type and is making you worse. These are social problems and
No Doctor can give us the perfect life or the perfect job.
David you are a very bright man so don't give up. Keep doing
All you can to manage your Depression, see how you can
Improve things. Only you know if your ready to go back to
Work, I would be concerned about you going back to a job
That you find stressful and a job you don't really like.
Hannah
You are not alone David. I have had counselling in the past but not now. I have realised I will always have a depressive personality. I cope with it by trying to keep myself busy. It was easier when I was working though the nature of my last job made it a lot worse. Every so often it seems to deepen and I go down into the pit for a while and start thinking suicidal thoughts. But that's not happened much in the last couple of years thank goodness. I still have major problems, especially one which seems beyond treatment, but have learned to live within my limits quite happily most of the time. That's all I expect out of life I guess. No striving - just surviving. Maybe it's because I am near retirement age - if so that's a good thing. I try not to look back or brood on things that can't be changed and just try and carry on with
my life as usual. It's different when you are young I know. Don't really know how to help you David. Just carry on I guess and see what happens. Try and stop negative thoughts as much as you can - they only bring you down. Any obsessive thinking needs breaking into to interrupt it - so get up and do something. Just keep away from those type of thoughts. Keep busy. That helps.
Thanks for this. I have come to that conclusion that I will always have dpressive episodes, the last two weeks were a good example. I have just got to cope the best way I know. Keeping busy is definately the best thing for me, like you say.
I would change your Doctor, I have spent years with Depression, not one Doctor would acknowledge that I was depressed, I saw the lady GP at our surgery just by chance about something else, as she was talking to me just out of the blue she asked me if I was depressed, my brain went BANG at last, I sat in tears, I am now being treated and I see my GP every week, it's only been about 5 weeks and I have a long way to go, but please either change your GP or ask to see another at your surgery, you should be seen regularly, I wish you well and good luck.
David, try not to think of it as the doctor saying that there isn't anything else that you can do but the doctor reinforcing the message that you are doing the right things even though it feels as if they aren't working. Likelihood is that you would be a lot worse without them. I know it's really difficult to see things this way but its likely that his intention was to let you know that you do need to keep up with what you are doing.
The stress management course might be a good idea even though you feel you have probably done it all before - most of it is common sense but it doesn't hurt to go over it every so often and remind yourself of everything. It might give you some new ideas on ways of relaxing as well - and having a lot of relaxation techniques is really useful when you are trying to deal with anxiety and depression.
I know you listen to music a lot - have you ever thought about mindfulness meditation?
Thanks for your advice everyone, Im feeling a bit confused today. Dont want to do anything. Been doing too much thinking lately. I suppose I have realised that I will always have depressive thoughts and I have just got to keep going with coping strategies. As Gambit said I could be worse without strategies. I dont know what the health advice was that I wanted yesterday. Maybe just a magic wand to make this condition go away! I just have to accept that I will have good days and bad days. The only problem with this is working on a bad day.
I work in a primary school so I cant just say to the children to leave me alone as Im having a bad day. I will try and cope. Thats why Im a teaching assistant and not a teacher. I can walk out of the classroom anytime if I need a breather. I am going back to work for a few weeks, we finish for the Easter holidays at the beginning of April. I then have two weeks off. Then I just have half a term and my job will finish anyway.
I have decided that I will sign on when my job ends, for a few months and have some time off, as I need time time with my family over the summer.
I may change my mind about this once I get back to work next week. With the right strategies I should be alright. I just need a bit of structure to my days for a few weeks.
Sorry you have been feeling rough, but all that sounds like a good idea. Going back to work will enable you to get back into a more normal structure of life and that is always good for depression - is there a halfway point e.g. maybe working three days a week for a period if you need to, or maybe going back part time after the summer. Losing the structure may make it easy to slide back into depression again whereas keeping connections out in the world can be invaluable for maintaining the positive elements you so clearly have.
Depression is a illness, and you just have to do the best with it. Accept your ill, do things that makes you happy. We have good days and bad days, hopefully in the long run more good days than bad.
Yes I think you are right. That is what this person at the health center sort of said. Today has been a quiet day. I havent felt like doing much. I have to accept that days will be like that and I have to give in at times but there are days when I feel motivated to do things and I have to get things done then. It is just a case learning how to live with this illness. For a while I have coped by using the strategies I have started. Recently I felt like life was getting on top of me again. I had to give in and stop.
Thanks Hannah. This recent episode where my depression got on top of me has taught me that I have to give in to this illness at times. It is ok to have time out in order to survive.
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