Finding it hard to cope

[Ant24]

Hi all

Im new to all this but thought id give it a try. I came across this site through looking at symptoms of bipolar, i havent been diagnosed with either bipolar or depression. But seeing symptoms associated with both, i can relate to so many. I am generally a guy that takes each day as they come, i hate making plans for future it scares me, which is a weird feeling because i know this is the "norm" but i just cant seem to do it. This is causing a whole lot more problems as i recently got married to love of my life but she is a planning kind of person. I find myself getting very anxious and aggetated almost angry as soon as talk emerges that involve plans. Ive found that im quite depressed have sleepless nights but still restless and feel the need to be doing something. I cant relax, i get moody, aggetated ive also noticed im getting my words jumbled up, ive got to a stage where im worrying about my future as though i havent got one. I do feel upbeat about things but then i get a knock back and instead of persisting i go 20 steps back and give up and this has lasted a ridiculous lengh of time before i feel the urge to get up and do something,

I know i may not of made much sense because this is the problem i have with my thoughts/actions they dont make sense which is really frustrating! But im hoping that to you guys that read this are able to get where im coming from.

[chloe40]

Hello Ant24 and welcome to our friendly forum. I'm sure our members will offer you the support you need.

Chloe

[LoriMS61]

Hi Ant,

Welcome to the community. First of all, congratulations on your getting married. It is a very exciting time in your life.

I am something of a paradox in that I love planning, but I also love spontaneity. I'm really bad for making plans and then wanting to change them.

I'm excited about this time of year; I love the Autumn, but at the same time, I'm trying to learn how to live in today.

You are being too hard on yourself, but I also think that you are giving yourself something to worry about. Your mind is playing tricks on you. Perhaps there is something deeper than this that you need to investigate?

What are you afraid will happen with future plans? Is it a case that the accepted transition from married to having children is being discussed? Is it that you have been planning for the wedding but don't know what your next step is (or even if you need one)?

I feel like there's more to this. If you think you have a mental illness that is undiagnosed the best person to start talking to is your GP. A mental illness isn't a death sentence or a stigma. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and you don't have to define yourself by it.

Lori

[Ant24 in reply to LoriMS61]

Well firstly i already have a child with my now wife. I must admit i do get put down alot and sometimes it is my fault. But my personality being as it is the more im put down about something wether it be my fault or not the worse i seem to be knowing it makes things worse. In effect i end up in a worser state of mind. I do find myself putting myself down have no confidence and feel as though im just destined to fail.

I do feel very emotional quite alot of the time, and find stupidist of things trigger it off. I am struggling with day to day things and feel pressured alot of the time when in reality there isnt any.

Thankyou i appreciate your response.

[Hidden]

Hi

I am so sorry to read your post.

You should be enjoying your life and child.

Please go and see your dr and explain how you feel, there is no stigma these days. Ask to see someone and try to get to the bottom of this, for your sake and your families sake.

Does your wife know how you feel?

Is there an underlying problem?

Is this about your marriage and making future plans or job related?

I don't know how if you could afford a private councellor? Maybe if you could you could get things sorted sooner.

You have taken the first step to helping yourself by coming on here and talking to us. Talking and I understand writing down your thoughts is supposed to help you.

As I'm not a trained councellor I can't say that you're bi polar, but you do sound like you need help.

Take care and good luck.

Best wishes.

[Ant24 in reply to Hidden]

I have tried to explain how i feel put she just sees it as an excuse. I have spent many months trying to determine myself why i feel like i do. I only can think of my nan passing as i was very close to her, i got married in october 2015 my nan was admitted to hospital november and passed december. It hit me very hard her funeral didnt happen till jan this year 2 weeks later i got bells palsy which left my seeing treble vision for 12 weeks in and out hospital myself. I did think i was dealing with it but maybe im not? I have mentioned this but again its been dismissed and used as an "excuse" to my behaviour.

It almost seems as though when i talk about this with friends/family they understand.

I think i will see my gp hopefully i can get to the bottom of my demons

[Hidden]

Hi

It sounds like you might need grief coucelling.

There are many stages to grief,like some people go into denial then cry then anger etc.

I think then having to go into hospital yourself probably compounded the problem. Hospital and feeling mortal, with having a family to support can make you feel very insecure about life. I understand as I've faced all these things.

Please do get some coucelling though.

Hood luck and best wishes.

[Robertt]

Hi

There is nothing lost having a word with your doc and plenty to be gained, They can refer you to one of the mental health team and the fact that you will have someone to talk to and whom will listen really helps. People that don't or haven't suffered don't really understand and as you say they think its just an excuse, but how wrong are they? Don't suffer in silence go and see your dr.