Feeling defeated and sad.

[mz_rachel]

So today my cousin got married and I was a bridesmaid. I wanted to cry so bad bc I feel so alone inside.

[Hidden]

Hello Rachel

It sounds like you have feeling for your Cousin and now married those feelings need to be moderated. I used to have days out with a cousin and we had been very close. When she married, She walked away from Her past life and went to live in a different part of the country. Now I have not seen her for about forty years. We sad to say need to move on. Your time will come and you will marry and start a new life. In my case there was nothing more than a friendship between us. We move on from those years of innocence and find our own way.

BOB

[mz_rachel in reply to Hidden]

Hey Bob and thank you! I should’ve been more clear in saying that I was overwhelmed bc of the things I had to do and act like everything was fine on the inside. I just wanted to go home and chill bc I hate having to mingle, I hate feeling hot, I actually had to sit down during her ceremony and just a lot going on non stop. That’s what I meant by feeling alone bc I looked around and saw people having a good time and here I am just wanting to show how I felt but couldn’t.

[Hidden in reply to mz_rachel]

mz-rachel

Sorry for not replying sooner we have been away and had no connections to the web for about one week. In a way I can be very much the same, insular in my outlook. The last time was a family funeral and yes I do not get on with family I also feel the need to insulate myself from others around me at functions, now I generally leave as soon as possible.

In my case I feel on edge, people have many expectations placed on my head and now I find those around me a real trial, because now I lack trust of others especially family.

Over the last five years have been out of touch and that has lead to bad feelings toward my actions. Honestly prefer to be on here or watching TV and reading books and taking part in various hobbies, that I enjoy.

BOB

[Hidden]

What Bob said...your cousin getting married bars no bearing over your ability to find happiness and be lonely. I do understand that circumstances such as seeing someone do something you want to do can be overwhelming, saddening, and cause some loneliness. I think the best thing you can do is be happy for your cousin and wish them well in their new life. Work with a therapist about your feelings in regards to seeing this and your feelings associated. In the mean time, remind yourself you are worthy of this, happiness, and fulfillment in life. Just because you are lonely and sad now doesn't mean you always will be. You aren't defeated...you went to a wedding that I believe you were afraid of going to because of all the dancing...and here you are!

Let me also add, it isn't always great on the other side of things. Finding someone just for the sake of not being lonely doesn't always mean peaches and cream forever. Now finding someone you love and adore dearly, someone who is not just your significant other, but also your best friend to enjoy each other, life, and other experiences...now that's the stuff. It takes some people a great deal of time to find that; sometimes after a divorce even. With everyday there remains possibility and hope for this. You aren't defeated and these feelings will eventually fade when the time and person is right. You have to hold onto that and maybe cope/find happiness in being you....a great, incredible person. Everyday is an opportunity to put the person you are on display....hope, positive feelings, and optimism.

I hope you're able to see some of the things both Bob and I mentioned. It's not uncommon to feel the way you do, but try to look at it from a different perspective and be happy for your cousin. Know that it can easily be that way for you eventually, walking to the most important person to you in the world down an aisle. You have to keep the hope and faith, even when you don't think it's possible. Feel better, relax, and rest. Tomorrow, if it hasn't already, begins now.

[mz_rachel in reply to Hidden]

Hey Veri and thank you! I should’ve been more clear in saying that I was overwhelmed bc of the things I had to do and act like everything was fine on the inside. I just wanted to go home and chill bc I hate having to mingle, I hate feeling hot, I actually had to sit down during her ceremony and just a lot going on non stop. That’s what I meant by feeling alone bc I looked around and saw people having a good time and here I am just wanting to show how I felt but couldn’t.

[Hidden]

I used to think people had lots of boyfriends and girlfriends and I was the only one left behind but this was wrong. Lots of people are virgins and without another person

[NHSseemstonotcare]

Your not alone. I am a 44year old man and I feel alone, even in a crowded room surrounded by my friends. Don't believe the constant hype though, I think there are more of us than we are led to believe ,we only hide it too well most of the time for others to see. I for one feel your pain. I know it might not be much comfort, but that way at least, you know, you are definitely NOT, alone..... I hope it helps you to know that at least someone else is feeling the same way as yourself. I know its not much, or what you seek, but I hope it helps somewhat to know your not alone in your feelings.

[mz_rachel in reply to NHSseemstonotcare]

Hey NHS and thank you! I should’ve been more clear in saying that I was overwhelmed bc of the things I had to do and act like everything was fine on the inside. I just wanted to go home and chill bc I hate having to mingle, I hate feeling hot, I actually had to sit down during her ceremony and just a lot going on non stop. That’s what I meant by feeling alone bc I looked around and saw people having a good time and here I am just wanting to show how I felt but couldn’t.