Yesterday I found out my niece is expecting her 2nd baby , a boy , she has a daughter ..My sister and I haven't spoken for over a year .. My niece has split with her bf and is living back with her Mum my sis ... and all I feel Is jealousy .. My sis is surrounded by her family , she is happy and productive ,everything I wish I was ...
I am so tired of this existence , I feel so alone and sad ..
What you feel is not jealousy - it is envy - and envy is a very natural feeling. You say you want the kind of life your sister has and I am wondering what the differences between you are due to, whether it is that you approach life differently or have been treated differently or perhaps you have had particular experiences that prevent you from living life to the full the way you feel your sister does? You may be alone and sad, many of us are at times, but we can support you while you begin to think about why your life is so satisfying to you - it sounds as if you feel it is due to who you are, to what you are like. If so, perhaps you can share those feelings here? Suex
I have always felt I am not as good as my sister , she has 3 kids she sees often , she works , has a hubby .. I felt I was treat different growing up ,my father favoured her , still does ..we haven't spoken for over a year and although I miss her I feel she is living the life I would give anything to have . x
Hi again
So you have just explained why you envy your sister and felt inadequate alongside her - your father favoured her and still does. That must have been very painful for you. I wonder did you feel your mother loved you? We all need someone to be loved by in order to develop emotionally. x
Hi Angel. Sorry you feel so low. It sounds like you might have been conditioned to think your sister is better as a child. We tend to absorb things as children and expect them to be normal or true. So if you were treated differently your childhood self probably thought that's because you were lesser.
The truth is you are not worse. You are different. But you and your life are equally as valuable.
You may not have felt valued at home, but you are valued here, always.
My sis was always a fav of my father but if I am honest my Mum favorited me in later years .. I am just so fed up of feeling alone , dowdy , depressed and like I have nothing to life for , there is no joy in my life and very very little love xx
Hi Angel.
You know it's hard to know what's really going on in anyone's life.
You might think your sister is happy etc, but you cannot be sure. Sometimes envy can
Be a positive thing in that it can spur us on to make changes to our own life.
I know certain things are out of our control but there is a lot each of us can
Change in our life if we decide to.
Try making a list of one or two things you can change, and get busy with your
Life. Our lives are all we have and we have to keep trying all the time. If we
Do nothing , then nothing will change. I have found that this has helped
Me to change a few things.
Hannah x
Hugs to u angel xx
Hi Angel I know how you feel as this is the same with my sister. Are you idealising things a bit though? You are assuming they are all happy and productive because you are alone. I used to be a bit jealous of my youngest sister. She was always the favoured child, the popular and clever one. She is also a lot more attractive than me. She has a nice house, a good job, a hubby and a grown up son she is very close too. I have no one. I haven't spoken to her since the end of January this year because it had been obvious for many years that she had a negative image of me. I found out why - she thinks I need to learn to take responsibility for myself and I am jealous of her nice house, nice job, hubby and son. I don't know what gave her that idea because it couldn't be further from the truth! I spoke to my other 2 sisters about it and they were gob smacked! The truth is she is jealous of her (2) friends because they have a lot more money and don't have to work so hard and she thinks she has been poorly done by. She is also jealous of me because I have no responsibilities and no one depending on me. She is jealous of my sociable and warm nature and my ability to make friends. She, on the other hand, feels she has to offer to do things for me and my other sisters but resents it. She said to me once she feels dimished by it and will have nothing left of herself. She will never understand that giving because you want to actually maximises yourself rather than diminishes. She only sees everything from her point of view. For example she said I was flaunting my sun tan from taking the dog out in the summer and she felt sick because she had to be at work. (I am out of work). I wasn't flaunting. She says nothing about her 2/3 times a year holidays abroad with her hubby and son when I don't go because I have no one to go with and there is no way she would want me on her holidays and has never invited me! She flaunts her son, step daughter and 2 step sons saying they are all going out for the day. I am left alone. You know what I say? Stuff her! I would a millions times rather be me than her...
What I am saying Angel is please don't idealise your family situation. I wonder if they are all happy. Find your own life, your own friends, and leave them to stew in their own juices. If they don't want to know you - well you don't want to know them either do you?
Stuff 'em. Show them you don't need or want them and they might just end up jealous of you! x
My wings were clipped a long time ago but you have to be strong,be happy for your sis,dont think so much about it,its hard,try and focus on the nice times with your sis,the laughsetc.I have a brother,he lives away i think of times like when i nicked his levis jeans or borrowed oops ran away with his leather jacket! Sundays are difficult sometimes because it is a family day,the lonlieness can be tough,take it easy bye
Welcome Mittsies, where are you from? Gemma
I am just sitting here alone mittsies thinking the same thing. I wish I had a nice family to do things with. But I don't so am making my own amusement. Going to take dog out for nice walk now then going to pub to see friends. Might even treat myself to fish and chips for tea! It's not 100% of what I want but 50% will do and is much better than 0%. A counsellor once told me long ago imagine it as a bank account; you have an overdraft and you need funds. Don't expect £100 from one source. Gather it in dribs and drabs and before you know it you have £80. You haven't paid all your overdraft but you have managed to pay most of it. That's good enough. x
All Alone Now
Why is my mom so emotionally unavailable towards me?
So depressed and lonely
