It'll be alright

I have decided that i will no longer write about my problems (although i rarely did).I'll keep them to myself.because it's no use..I am not able to change.but i have a feeling i will reach somewhere.i'll accomplish something in the end.the feeling of wanting to change is starting to grow.and i want to make it happen.i know it's hard.especially on my own(i can't even ask others to help me either because i am hesitant to do/they dont seem serious to do.and i know nobody will be there except myself.i heard it many times.but decided to try to follow that saying.and what made me feel a little hope is when i read some articles that lazy people could also be successful.i know being lazy isnt healthy..but this is how i am..i am tired of it but it's hard to overcome it.even when i read articles,i cant seem to keep reading till the end.especially those long ones.and usually skip to some parts that catches my eye.even when i was planning to study for toefl/ielts(i mentioned them both because i want to try them both)and planned to start with simple categorized vocabulary(since i need to improve in it)i was doing well the first day.then started to get lazy and procrastinate.i am fighting inside me.i want to do good for once but i am just not able to keep going/keep the progress.i easily get lazy/bored/angry/doze off.even when it comes to hobbies and talents.i don't use them well and improve them(unless with groups sometimes/classes but since its costy..)ah sorry,i started writing long again..but this will be my last..i will just have faith in god that he will help me change to the better and make it easier on me..and i won't let my surroundings affect on me(even if im moody,and its totally normal,i shouldnt stress myself thinking why im like this)and i will try to face whatever gets me anxious,especially applying for a job/volunteering/talking to people in general.let them think i am dumb and immature by my stupid and awkward acts.i am going to face them anyway.and its fine.as long as i face it..if not facing it still i am sad,then i'll face it.i'll stay the same..i dont know if i am surrendering or trying to get stronger..i am wierd for sure.sorry again..goodbye..wish me luck..that's all i ask for.

[Hidden]

LomoDana

We all need to follow our own pathway in life, We make decisions and act upon them, sometimes we go through bad times and need that gentle nudge to push us on towards our chosen route

Good luck with your decisions and needs, I wish you well.

We are always here if needed

BOB

[Tikirob]

Good luck! I enjoyed reading this so much. You can do it.

[hypercat54]

Depression is often called 'lazy' by those who don't understand so I reckon this is what you have. I do think though that sometimes it's good to just drift along through life seeing what comes your way. There is far too much pressure on folk to decide their future career, lifestyle, whether they want a family etc. We are all told we need to strive to earn lots of money so we can afford the dream - big house, big car, partners and 2.4 kids etc. If that makes you happy then fine but it often leaves people feeling empty.

The best journey in life is to find yourself and to live the kind of life which suits you and makes you happiest. x

[Queenbee0161]

Hi ,Sorry to hear your feeling so down. I am new to this so I hope my reply isn’t so absurdly shocking 😂 I’ve been hoping for help and tips on how to control certain things and how to become a better person life’s so tough at the moment stay strong.

[MsTree]

You are the most honest person I've heard in a very long time. Thank you for that. You're gonna make it and it'll be alright. God bless you.

[sweetiepye]

Hello , I've only read the parts of your post which stood out and didn't quite make it to the end, but I wish you well. My advice to you is this...when your lucky day comes around, I hope you are prepared for it. Pam