I'm 26, I'm engaged to the love of my life, I have a wonderful sister I call my best friend and a loving caring family I have a home with my fiancée, even looking for a new one! I have a wonderful life!!!!
BUT I don't, not in my mind, in my mind I am deeply depressed I worry about every little situation I face and I am constantly hating on myself.
I don't exactly no when I started feeling this way I just no it's been forever and I want it to stop, I don't want to feel this way anymore it's horrible it's never ending. I got bullied something bad at school and that's always with me where ever I go I'm constantly worried that someone will say something nasty to hurt me I hate it and sometimes I will see one of my bullies even though it's been so long since school I get absolutely terrified and freeze when I see them .
I could write a novel with my life but I won't bore you all that's just a little starter. But I will tell u that today I went to the doctor and it's the very start of my recovery I will be seeing a therapist soon and I'm hoping I will not fall again.
Welcome to the group. Nice to meet you and to see your face. You have made a good start by going to the doctors and starting the therapy process.
I have suffered with depression and anxiety for years. It has recently stopped me working full time. Sorry to tell you but I believe you dont get better but just learn how to live with these feelings. It is just part of who you are, like those lovely brown eyes.
I have a 'perfect' life as Ive been happily married for 22 years (and still going strong), I have two teenage boys, nice house and money. This does not stop us feeling depressed. Usually those of us who feel this way are more sensitive people to various emotions and thoughts. We just need to deal with this. It is a constant struggle to cope with life BUT not impossible.
You will find strategies like exercise, hobbies and having 'me' time. Others might think you are selfish by being on your own, my family do, but it is ok.
Hi Sarah, I like you feel the exact same always overthinking things and worrying myself sick over things that probably will never happen. I also can't understand why I feel like this as I have a family life similar to yourself. All I can say is that you've done the right thing by posting here the people are very friendly and understanding.
Ross
Hi Sarah
Welcome to the website. We are very friendly and have all experienced depression so will do our best to support you and will also welcome your support whenever you feel up to it.
Depression is not always related to our circumstances at the time, sometimes it relates to things that happened in the past that have made us feel helpless and hopeless. It sounds like being bullied was one experience you had that made you feel that way and has left you feeling quite traumatised.
It's good that you are about to begin therapy. I hope you find it helps you to begin to understand why you have not been able to feel happy despite having so much and that in time your feelings begin to change. Meanwhile do use the site for support whenever you need to.
Hi Sarah, welcome to the site! Really relate to your post. I often think I have no right to be depressed given the life that I have. Actually that's a really common thing with depression, it makes us feel guilty for having it! Or as if we shouldn't have it.
Well done for going to the docs, takes a lot of guts. Glad you got an empathic doctor who gave you treatment.
I think the pic's a really cool one by the way
Themys
Thankyou all so much really makes me feel worthwhile I have some people from the hospital coming to assess me tomorrow not sure how they do this I mean I have constant ups and downs so I may be happy when they see me lol.
I no I need to do more excersize and I do try but I get so self conscious that ppl are judging me I end up having anxiety attacks at gym
Hi Sarah
Personally I think bullying can have such an effect on us that in time we take over from the bullies & do the work ourselves, which is worse because it's very difficult to ignore that voice in your head that puts you down. As people have said to me since I joined the group, we are justified in our depression. While we may feel like a cheat or fraud because, as we see it, we don’t have good enough reasons or others have more reason to be depressed the fact that we do have depression means we have a reason for it. What we have to do is to face those reasons for it & find a way to either change those thoughts or learn to control/live with them. I’m doing this through therapy, which I started recently. You are doing the same & should feel proud of yourself that you have recognised a problem and you are working at beating or controlling it. Well done.
With regards the gym, if you are getting self conscious are you able to do a workout at home? A couple of years ago I go an app that shows all manner of exercises with some of them showing how to use stuff that you could find in a hotel room or bedroom (it was aimed at business people that were travelling & showed lifting suitcases and such). Can’t remember what it’s called but can have a look on my laptop at home if you’re interested.
James
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Thanks James I worry that therapy won't help as I don't understand how it does by talking but I'm willing to try it to get help just wish it didn't cost an arm and a leg
And I think going to the gym even thou I hate it and worry I believe it will help out in the long run with learning to not be afraid of what others think
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Spot on with the gym. Getting out & confronting the anxiety/fear is probably the best thing.
I started therapy a couple of months ago. Never tried it before & didn't expect it to work but surprisingly it has. Even just talking about what's troubling me has helped lots. I can say stuff that I wouldn't say to anyone else & it stays in the room. I don't have to see or live with the counsellor so I can say what I want for the hour & then bugger off. That alone a can be really helpful but trying to do what they suggest obviously will help more. I didn't think I was doing what was suggested until they pointed out that I was. It's been a big help. I won't lie to you some of the sessions can be mentally tough & you feel drained afterwards, particularly within the first 4-6 sessions, but stick with it.
If it costs a lot there are counsellors that will charge less depending on your household income. You might have to search for them a little but they should be there.
The majority of people on this site have what the untrained eye would perceive as 'the good life' - money, education, security, family, children etc. In reality depression strikes anyone, at any time, in any place. You've made a great start going to see your GP and I'm sure therapy will help you enormously. In the meantime, keeping posting here and talking to people who can relate to your circumstances x
I envy your life Sarah your youth your bf and your relationship with your sister .. I am almost 50 and depression has stolen all of the above from me ... fight as hard as you can because trust me you don't want to end up like me alone and afraid ... I wish you well xx
Well I don't know if you've heard but 50 is the new 20 life can start again don't be afraid be glad your still here and being alone isn't healthy where do you live maybe we should be depressed together
What a lovely post for Angel Sazzybabe88. You have a "cheerful" looking face as well, sort of "hopeful" and fresh looking (Oh yes it's called "young" !) and you are very pretty too. I'm 55 and you've made me think in a different way about my age; it is never too late to make friends I guess and get some enjoyment from life. I would like to make friends on here. Trouble is we are dotted all over the uk. I am based in the West Midlands in Birmingham. Gemmalouise X
PS Just seen you're in Australia! Well that is even further then! (and we have one or two from other countries on here as well)
Wow the uk that is so far away maybe it's best if everyone moves to Australia hehehe least it's warmer here so more of vitamin d to help mAke us all cheerful and happy could have picnics and watch the birdies flutter about aw how relaxing and un- stressful does that sound
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