I couldn't bear the thought of us drifting apart any further and the helplessness I felt in the relationship I thought I should try and combat for myself, on my own rather than dragging her down when she had her own problems with her children placing greater needs on her than they had for years and her own work stuff.
I felt like I had to jump before I get pushed from the relationship and when I did she agreed it was the right thing to do. Which I think it was, except I miss her sooooo much and the hole in my life that is left by knowing she is no longer part of it and someone I can be close to is unbearable.
I just recently restarted taking antidepressant (citalopram) but I hate the drowsiness it causes and the low it is bringing about prior to feeling better is absolutely awful and makes we want to end it all