I don't think I'm going to make it ‘TRIGGER WARNING’

[MustBeAWay]

I don't think I'm going to make it. I made to many mistakes and don't want to continue. I hate my life. Everyone hates me. I'm done!

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello DownNOut

Thank you for your post. I am so sorry you feel so bad.

Perhaps you could tell us more about what is happening for you and why you feel this way?

Our members are very supportive and may be able to offer you some help and information.

I have put a trigger warning on your message as many of our members are vulnerable . Do take a look at our community guidelines.

Please talk with someone about how you feel. Your doctor or support worker can help.

You can call NHS 111 if not urgent and 999 if an emergency.

The Samaritans have a 24hr freephone 116123.

There are more crisis helplines in the pinned posts.

Mind charity have a website mind.org.uk

Please get back to us and let us know how things are for you.

Best Wishes

[Stilltrying_]

Hello downnout. From reading your previous posts I understand you have been abused emotionally and are now feeling the effects of this and very very low indeed. I have felt at that point myself. It sounds like you are blaming yourself for what happened and so angry with yourself and are not giving yourself a break from it at all. Please know that you do matter and that people believe you. I have suffered at the hands of a manipulater and the effects are horrendous as they make you doubt your own sanity and they work away at destroying your soul.

I hope there is just a small gap somewhere where you can allow your true and beautiful soul to emerge. I have found the Samaritans very useful in my situation. I phoned them two or three times a day when I was really bad.

Please know that we care on here and as you said in one of your posts you have been happy in the past. If you have been happy in the past can you see that it is also possible to be happy in the future? Not right now as all seems lost I know. But maybe there is a way to work back to having some sort of a life for yourself? Have you tried approaching your local church at all as I gather you are religious from your previous posts. They can offer a place of sanctuary and without judgement of what you may or may not have done wrong in the past.

I feel for you , I really do. You sound like a nice person who has suffered too much at the hands of someone else. Even if you have made mistakes and done bad things you will be forgiven as I can tell you are deeply sorry and that is what matters. You are not a bad person; you just sound like someone who is suffering a lot right now.

Please continue to write and please phone any helpline as your life is important and I want you to live, I honestly do.

Gemmalouise xxx

[hypercat54]

Well I don't hate you DandO and I am sure no one else here does either. Don't forget it takes a lot of time and energy to hate anyone so you must have at least murdered someone in cold blood to be so hated! Have you? Bet you haven't!

We all make mistakes in life you know and some horrendous ones too, you are far from alone there. The secret is not to not make them but to learn from them and apply this in future. You can't change the past - it would lovely if you can but you have to learn to accept this. All you can do is start putting the mistakes right as much as possible. Are you doing this? You will find if you stop obsessing over the past you will be able to see the future more clearly and there will be a spark of light and hope there, but you have to start looking forward a bit to see it.

Looking backwards will destroy you if you let it so imagine if a loved one had done this to you, would you hate them too? Again I bet you wouldn't. Don't be harder on yourself than you would be to others so give yourself some love and compassion. x

[tombouy46]

HI DownNOut I'm not sure what it is that has you so upset, I've been fighting Depression for many yrs. I'm here to talk and listen if your up to it. My name is Tom. I live just outside of Boston.

[MustBeAWay in reply to tombouy46]

Hi Tom, thanks for the offer. I'd like to talk.

[MustBeAWay]

I have to be honest and say no I didn't kill anyone, but I was taking too many pills and said and behaved like an idiot publicly. I was hurt from loosing my kids. If only I remained humble.