Hopeless

[Morkbg]

I would like to be able to have a job that uses my skills. But I end up having jobs that pretty soon a robot will be able to do. I don't make enough money to live on. I have to live with my mother and she is 85 years old. What happens when she dies and I have no retirement set up? I don't see how I can get a better job when it takes all my energy just to go to a part-time job. I have to come home and go to bed because I am so exhausted. I have fibromyalgia and other things going on. I can't do most jobs because of the stuff that is wrong with me. I have to have a job where I can move around. Most jobs are all sitting or all standing. I can't have a job delivering stuff or something because I cannot sit that much. I could not work shelving books at a library because that is too physical. Because of the second car accident that I was in in 5 years, I can't work 5 days in a row

The department of vocational rehab (DVR) is supposed to be helping me find a job. Then once you get a job, they are supposed to help you for 90 days to make sure you can keep it. I was able to get a job, but I was told the company is going to go bankrupt. even though dvr knows that I am going to lose this job because the company is going bankrupt, they are not going to help me find another one. I know they are just going to close my case. I haven't been told this officially yet. I have asked them repeatedly in emails are they are just going to close my case and they don't respond. I won't be able to get back into DVR because I will be put on a waiting list. They feel that I do not need help finding a job... even though it took me over a year to find one with their help. The company is not going to terminate me until several months from now when DVR will not be helping me anymore.

I would feel better if I felt I had some actual chance for a future. DVR does not think I need more education. But I am only a high-school graduate.

I am 54 years old with no retirement or pension or anything. I have to live with my mother. What happens when she dies?

The reason that people become suicidal is they feel trapped. I see no way where my situation will ever get better

[Stilltrying_]

Hi there and yes I agree that one of the reasons why people commit suicide is because they feel trapped. We really don't want you to take that option which is why these online communities exist ; to try and help each other. It sounds like you need to put some more pressure onto the DVR or get yourself some more help from somewhere in helping you to find suitable employment. I agree it is a very difficult situation to be in. You really need something which is more high paying but I know how difficult it is with physical and mental disablities. I would urge you to hold on to hope and to persist with trying to do these things. I think if you try to seek this support when you are on a good day that is the best idea. If you don't have good days then I would do it on a better day as trying to do stuff when you are completely shattered is extremely hard. Please don't give up. We are rooting for you. Still_trying x

[Morkbg in reply to Stilltrying_]

I do not know of anywhere else to go besides DVR. And I fully expect that they are going to drop my case at the next meeting.

I have put as much pressure on them as possible. I have told them over and over again that things are not working.

If I knew of a place to go or something to do then I would still have hope. That is why I said I was hopeless because there is nothing else.

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Morkbg]

Oh bless you, I am so sorry to hear this. I do understand. I have been at an extremely low point like this a few months ago. I know how hard it is. Suicide is such a massive step and one which for me is no longer an option. Is there anything at all which you think may help with your mental health? Do you have a pet or is there anything you enjoy to try and calm down your emotions a little?

Also do make yourself available of suicide hotlines if you think that may work for you. I know that doesn't change your situation but if talking helps at all then I would consider this. I phoned them several times and was on the verge of suicide. Something inside me kept trying and now I am feeling a lot better. I know every situation is different but know that every life is worthwhile and worth fighting for. My heart goes out to you and I hope you can find something which helps you to hold on and keep persisting despite your very adverse circumstances. x

[Morkbg in reply to Stilltrying_]

The only thing that would help me is being able to have a job I could support myself on. I see no reason to believe that would ever happen. God has not helped me my entire life so why should he start now?

[Stilltrying_ in reply to Morkbg]

It is very difficult I know being stuck in a vicious cycle. My thoughts are with you x

[javacoffee in reply to Morkbg]

Hi! I understand you frustration! How are you today? Do you maybe have in mind some possible jobs for you? As a starter. Is online job an option for you?

[Morkbg in reply to javacoffee]

I could do an online job if I could find one that wasn't fake.

If I knew of a job that I could make a living on, I wouldn't be depressed.

I am working with vocational rehab. They wanted me to put in for a part-time page job as a substitute. I was fired from a page job because I couldn't handle it. And obviously if it is being a substitute, it is not going to be enough to live on. I wrote and asked if they would drop my case if I got this job, and got no response.