too fat. lazy. love my little girl, her dad is absent other than leaving money every week in our mailbox and calling me when he's drunk to tell me he loves me and invite me over. my daughter and I live with my mother who, though she supports is by letting us live here, is also lazy, complains constantly about the house yet down nothing to improve it... im reasonable sure we have mold in the leaking roof and black mold in her bathroom (she constantly gets headaches)... the walls are dwelling up in both bathrooms and the water comes out yellowish brown. one of our dogs has diabetes and we take turns feeding and injecting her, though my mom goes about both all wrong. I can't say anything to her about anything without her getting defensive and saying everything is her fault and going to her room and slamming the door. my daughter will go ask Mr mom for something if I tell her no. its out of control I feel like I have no control. my nephew was born two months ago and my mom stayed with my sister for a week, I'm not kidding one week without grandma here ava my daughter was listening so well, doing her cos and going to bed at a reasonable time, no tantrums or fits. even my mom noticed the difference in her. fast forward to now and it's back to tantrums, yelling, stomping, nut listening, running to grandma instead of going on time out, etc. last night I went to the grocery store for milk and in the twenty minutes I was gone, my mom had fallen asleep and my daughter was giving the dogs chocolate. my mom "rewards" my daughter with chocolate eggs with tips on them EVERY TIME I leave the house. I have asked her not to do this yet there's always evidence of this if I leave. it's like she has an endless supply. im fed up with everything, I don't trust anyone with my child because I can't. her dad is a drunk pervert and my mom is lazy and slums my daughter. I have talked to her about this and she gets so angry and ends up locked in her room. my daughter is growing up and just last night she mimicked my mother when I told her tip wash her hands and I had to remind her to use soap and remind her tip dry her hands and she said she gives up, that it's all her fault and that I hate her. JUST LIKE MY MOTHER WOULD. I lice my mom but I am worried enough amour new ending yup the same as she is, let alone my daughter!! at least I know I don't want top be like my mother, I need out of here!! like, NOW!! I have out myself on wait lists for low income housing but it takes a long time.. I need a change but I am so lost. part of me wishes I had the means to nisi move to a new city far away with my little girl and be happy. I know I could make it work, I know I could of I had to.
just venting, but welcome any advice.
therapy isn't really something I have the means for.