I wish there was a pill I could take to forget horrible memories. Does anyone constantly replay things over and over in there minds?
I had quite an abusive childhood. My mum had a string of men/ new dads for us who where quite fond of a drink. One in particular should beat me and my siblings on many occasions.
A small example of his cruelty.. at the age of ten my mother was diagnosed with quite a life threatening illness and was in hospital for sometime. One afternoon after I had finished school I was called down with my sister to the front room and told to sit down on the sofa. The monster informed us that social services had been told of my mums illness.. I don't know why this would have upset him but he beat me in all places (apart from my face and hands) then told me and my sister to clean our selfs up as the social would be over soon and if we didn't act like we was happy we would get more of it.
Another time maybe a year later my mother took an overdose bear the Christmas holidays... I came home from school to be told she was dead. What kind of monster does that. She walked in the door ten minutes later acting slightly drunk but other that that fine.
These two stories are just the tip of the iceberg.. I struggled with abuse for years and years from my step dad then straight on to my first boyfriend.
I'm now with an amazing man and have a amazing child.. but I can't let go of the past. What's wrong with me?