I don’t know how to explain myself

[zee1001]

I’ve never been the type to tell people my life story or why I am the way I am, I recently got a new boyfriend and he’s the sweetest guy he can tell when I’m sad or not in a good mood and he always checks up on me but I always lie and tell him everything is alright... when really my life feels like it’s crumbling underneath me. I haven’t been able to tell him about my brothers murder and it kills me that I haven’t told him but I just can’t seem to get the words out or I don’t know how to bring it up. I also think I’m scared cause when I tell people they usually run away because they think I’m “broken” which in reality I am but I don’t act it everyday I put a smile on my face and act like everything is ok.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi zee,

I think it's very understandable that you are not ready to tell your new boyfriend or the world what has happened in your life. Sharing something as traumatic as losing your brother that way needs to be done in a safe and secure way for you. Good relationships need to be built on trust, and maybe, for now, concentrate on building that trust, and don't rush to share everything until you are ready. Let them judge you for who you are, how you are coping, and not an event that happened to one of your nearest and dearest. Have you had any mental health support or therapy to help you start the recovery process? If not ask your GP or local mental health team for advice. This community is a safe space to share confidentially and folks here care a great deal, and we are listening.

Take care,

MAS Nurse

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Zee

You fail to mention when your Brother was killed, however if not already I would discuss the loss with your GP and see if there could be any treatment to help you move on

At this time you are in control of the information of what happened to your Brother you know the cause and effect of how you feel. The most important thing is for you to come to terms with your loss, also how your family must be feeling regards the evil act that took Him away from you all.

When it comes down to the Boyfriend, you tell when ready then you can move on together. Explanations do not need to be explored with your Boyfriend until you are ready. Be kind to yourself and know when you can discuss this unfortunate event.

Here to chat if needed

BOB