I think depression is clouding my memory so much that it is clouding who I really am. I hardly remember any of my childhood. This is something I’m interested in reclaiming.
A prob with memory loss is that now I think I’ve always been unhappy. I can’t remember feeling content. I can’t remember being interested in books. Theoretically I know that I danced to high school musical in the kitchen and read Twilight in 2 days but I can’t remember what that interest felt like. On good days I might have a memory pop up but in general I don’t have access to my past.
Can anyone just tell me that they have the same thing? Or that they have got their memories back? This is ...hard to talk to neurotypical people about because we can’t compare experiences. I’ve been dismissed and I’m sick of it. “No one remembers their childhood”. They probably don’t realise that they remember a lot more than they think.
If this is something you think about a lot too, I’m... sorry, it sucks. It’s isolating. It’s alienating. To all of you who feel like they’re stranded in an alien present and they can’t repair their ship, love to you. Hope we fix the vessel soon or find friends here.