I'm 37 I live at home with my mother and little girl she is 4. I love my mom but do not want to be like her. I don't work, lately I have gotten to tire point that I don't even leave the house. I sleep til about 1 ir 2 pm everyday. I don't clean, I don't cook, I don't do anything. I want to, so why don't I? I started a successful mommy group and have not been doing anything with it. I was with my daughter's dad for 7 years, and recently we broke up altho it wasn't the first time it definitely feels permanent. it's for the best so why does it bother me that I have no one? I mean not like I need a guy but he Jay seems stop fine with it and never sees our daughter which is the usual but still. he's an alcoholic which I stupid by him thru rehab, black outs, and all the junk that goes with being with an alcoholic etc.
im way too fat and I know it and I hate it. I have done those hcg injections twice now, lost weight felt great in every way but gain it back and then some. I feel lazy, tired all the time, I have alopecia areata AGAIN for the second time in my life, the first was 8 years ago. I stay up way too late, I don't DO anything. I feel like a lousy mom for being this way even tho I am told im a great mom and my kid really is amazing.
I feel like this had already gotten off track and I can't remember points I wanted to bring up...
I have zero motivation, I feel I'll NEVER do anything with my life and that I have wasted it and my youth and potential. I have only.I've only one or two friends. I used to be cute, popular, funny,smart and so on and I used to like me so what happened?! I love jesus and have signed up to do volunteer work but i never show up.
I cry thinking of how grown up my little girl is getting.
I haven't shaved my legs, stress my hair, painted my toenails or done anything to feel good amour myself. in fact I don't even wear makeup on the rare occasion I leave the house!
I dunno if anyone can help but I guess I needed to vent......