Lonely

[fijinik]

Hi Im Nikki, I am 19 years old. A lot of the time i feel very depressed and I just end up staying inside all the time. I sometimes feel very anxious when i leave my house. My depression has really taken a toll on me. I feel very lonely , like i have no one to really talk to. Which i really don't. Before i used to be surrounded by people and i guess that i just felt complete. Then I just started losing friends and now i just only really go out by myself or my mom. I have had mental break downs where i think of killing myself or harming myself to make me feel better. I often feel that i'm ugly and not good enough for anyone. Feeling lonely has really made me build a brick wall around me. My moods change all the time one minute i feel very happy and full of life the next i feel very angry and sometimes very emotional. I never talk to anyone in my family about how i have been feeling for the past 4 years. I never told anyone because i think to my self how are they going to help me. I find it very hard to open up to people. I feel as if they will judge me. I also don't like going out because i feel like how my body is shaped i'm not beautiful.

[Celtic27]

Hi fijinik first of all why do you think your not good looking beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty comes from within there's someone out there for everyone. Believe me as I spent my early teens wondering if I would ever. Meet someone but by the age of 21 I was and I'm still married to the same lady and I could never be so happy! You are been too hard on your self have you ever been bullied can I suggest trying to reconnect with the rest of the family and get to talking about. How You are truelly feeling a good support network is very Important! Please take it easy and given time things will improve!

[johntoothill]

I read your post with interest as my wife is in much the same position to you . You have made a good start by having the courage to put your thoughts down in writing and reaching out to a community here of good people who can appreciate how you feel and are here to offer a listening hear and support and understanding. You are.not alone and I for one am happy to chat anytime you want or need. I'm sure many others too will be the same . It's good you have decided to let out your feelings openly and you will get through this and have taken a very important step to being able to live a much better life in the future , by releasing your feelings.

[20Voices]

Hi Nikki,

First of all, Thank you for being brave enough to post. It takes a lot of courage to write such a long post and so detailed as well.

Firstly you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

When I was 19 I was quite a loner and really shy. I even have up on hunting for a boyfriend at the time because I just thought I was ugly and fat and too boyish looking. Now if I could go back I would tell my younger self that I was beautiful and health and to go ahead and embrace my uniqueness and enjoy being me.

Being lonely it was rely tough and I struggled to go out. Fortunately I had a strong Mum who pushed me into going along to an archery club and although it took a while for me to find my confidence it was a great thing to do.

Today there is a lot of pressures from TV, films, magazines and social media that makes you think if you are not a size 0 with flawless skin that you are ugly. Not the case.

Nikki, I hear and feel your pain as I have suffered similar issues with depression and feeling not good enough and also wanting to end it. This didn't happen until later in my life. I really want you to know is that you can change things and be happy and comfortable with yourself. I won't lie and say it can be fixed tight now, because we all know that is not the case, but you can make changes and learn techniques to make you more comfortable with yourself and happier with yourself.

If you would like to talk to me more about what I have tried please message me or have a look at some of the posts I have on my profile.

Definitely look for support groups in your area, even if you have to ask your Mum to take you to them to start with they may help you. Also look at the Shaw Mind Foundation website as they have lots of resources on there. Please also use the crisis phone lines if you ever get to that scary place and need to talk to someone urgently. It can help to ha e that breathing space and I know they are used to listening to what was my garbled rubbish when I called them.

Take care Nikki sand keep posting when you ha e questions and especially when you find something that has worked for you or you've had a great day.

Take care.

20Voices.

[MustBeAWay]

Don't fall for it. Join the military.