Got to get through this

[akneller2000]

Hi, my name is Aarron and just found this group. I'm a 34 year old electrician from Kent England. I have been married to my beautiful wife for 5 years now and have two sons aged 4 and 7. The three of them are my everything and reason for living. Not sure how this works but now for the bad bits. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for the last 3 or 4 years which has gotten worse in the last year after the death of one of my brothers. My job can get quite stressful and confusing which is usually the trigger for a bad spell which used to last a week or so but seem to be lasting much longer now. Have currently been very low for about a month. Have only been able to make it into work about 3 or 4 times in last 3 weeks. I am self employed so do not get paid when I'm not in so financially is very worrying as our depts can spiral out of control so easily.

Going to work at the moment is so difficult, with early starts, travelling and a physical and mentally demanding job my anxiety is through the roof before I've even started. Have been doing the odd days work (not electrical to at least save my mind a bit) for my brother who has a building company just to try and stay affloat but know it's not enough. Have gotten really fed up with the way things are with life and the constant stressful struggles of the rat race just to go round in circles and feel I'm achiveing nothing. All this mental and physical drain has got me so tired where I struggle to even get out of bed let alone support my family. Even the times where I'm not at work I'm still stressing about it to the point where I am miserable and struggle to cope with everyday life and feel I'm letting my family down. All I want is to come out the other side of this and live a life where I can have some good feelings at least some of the time. Have been to doctors so many times over last few years and have just started new medication as didn't feel the old ones were doing much and have just started therapy sessions which I have to pay for because haven't heard anything back from nhs therapy as they have a long list which I'm not surprised about in today's world. Sorry to bang on about it and I realise there's always someone with bigger problems, just thought I'd introduce myself, under a bad light I know. Can usually be quite a laugh and think I've got a good personality when things are going well but feel the world has gotten on top of me. Anyway thanks for listening if you made it to the bottom of this confusing introduction.

Aarron.

[Hidden]

Akneller

Welcome to this site of many supportive members. Hopefully given time you will become more positive in your Outlook and move on.

There are real problems in the NHS at this time, all down to lack of finances I suppose.

If you are having problems waiting for CBT it may be an idea if you have words with your GP Surgery regarding Charities who run mental health day centres. Some do CBT in a restricted way, about six sessions if lucky, That may introduce you to ways that are on a self help basis.

We have also a free service that also deals with CBT in its various forms. These services are free and you may be able to get treatment from that type of Organisation. You can go to these places either through you GP or voluntary. As you wait for the treatment your GP has suggested. These sessions are generally rationed to ten sessions of CBT. You can find out about these services from the Surgery or sometimes CAB may be able to help.

BOB

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello akneller2000,

Welcome to our supportive community. Well done for taking a brave step out of your comfort zone to reach out for help. Hopefully, you will find folks here are only too willing to come alongside you and share from their personal journeys and experiences.

You are obviously having a difficult time right now, and are not alone in how you are feeling. It's good that you are receiving professional medical and psychological help.

Do check out our Pinned Post section for free mental health guides. As you live in the UK keep these crisis support helplines handy:

The Samaritans Tel: 116 123 [24 hours line]

NHS: 999 [Emergencies]

NHS 111 [Non-Emergencies]

MIND UK charity: Helpline Tel: [phone] [e-mail] Text: 86463 mind.org.uk/information-sup...

SANEline Tel: [phone] [4.30pm – 10.30pm daily]

sane.org.uk/

Keep in touch! Ok, folks what can you suggest to help this new member?

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[kellypmsw]

Hi Aaron, I am sorry to read about your struggles but in reading your post, it actually validated for me the exact reason why I came to this site - to connect with others in similar situations.

I also struggle with anxiety and depression, have since I was about 15 (I’m currently 33) and it’s had its ups and downs over the years but right now is a particular low. I’m also struggling to work and just like you said, being at home is causing even more stress because I just feel useless and guilty that my husband is working and I’m not.

Sigh!

[akneller2000 in reply to kellypmsw]

Hello Kelly, yeah it's a bit of a catch 22 situation isn't it. The anxiety and depression can get really out of hand sometimes to the point where it can stress even the stongest relationships. But think we can definitely make it through it with time and the support of family and friends and hopefully come out the other side stronger than we started. It's really difficult to see the light sometimes when things are bad and we slump into a low mood but things do usually improve with time, we just got to fight through the bad patches to get to better days. Maybe it's just one big test this life, it's definitely tiring I know that. Think we've just got to keep soldiering on no matter how long it takes to feel better or how tired we get. Best of luck to you Kelly, good to talk to people who understand the struggles of mental health and know we're not alone.

[Cky101]

Hi Aaron,

I feel you with the electrical work being stressful. Ive been an electrician since leaving school then made it into the office, originally estimating which for the first 2 years almost killed me, and now designing installations. Its a challenge and I generally enjoy it and, like yourself, know I can do it. The problem is when I get hit with anxiety I struggle to work myself. I've been on the waiting list with the NHS too and it took a long time to see someone.

Im currently having a bad spell and haven't manage to get to work the last 2 days. Im hoping that time and perseverance will work again, but its tiring and quite frankly upsetting to relapse into old anxious ways.

I wish you the best and hope we can both beat this once again, as soon as possible.

[akneller2000 in reply to Cky101]

Hey, yeah I've been in it since I left school. Always on the tools though. Yeah, think it's one of them jobs that when you get your head around certain bits and iron out the problems you can be full steam ahead for another 6 months no problems and start to enjoy it again then start a new project and be back to square one. And the game is so vast and changing all the time yet people don't seem to want to pay for all the behind the scenes stuff that goes in to it. Sometimes just want to take my brain out and do something simpler and be more happy. Yeah, sure it'll work itself out. Usually does in the end, just got to try and keep our heads up through the rough patches because once it gets you down it gets harder to come back each time. It's good to know I'm not the only one who gets down about it and thanks for you wishes. Best of luck to you too, we can definitely do this!