My mother is the reason

[Alya96]

Hi

Hmm this is my first time to write .. I am actually writing to know what's wrong with me .. I don't know what's my situation .. so I joined this website .. 2 years ago I had a fight with my mother, and it was stupid kinda .. it was for money like I did that to get attention. I was 19 and a college student so I always get jealous of other girls how their parents gave them as much as they want. So I don't remember how I did it, but I realized she would not gave me anything more. The thing I wanted her care nothing else so I realized that she will not care about anything about me.

So I stopped asking her for anything. I didn't know that time the thing I want her care and warmth, so 6 months ago my situation started to be more worse. I started not to enjoy anything, like I will force myself to be happy .. the things I used to REALLY love them now I don't.

So I decided to tell my mother about everything I feel, but she just said I gave u everything what u want more ? , she only care about that money will make me happy. She just saw my feelings was nothing. Now I can't enjoy anything, I always the party pooper I am always looks sad or angry. I can't smile or even cry. I felt since the time I had that fight,2 years ago, like I have to kill all my feelings of needing or anything. This hurts me a lot, I feel like no one is caring about me and I feel really alone, I feel like I am from another place. When I think about those things my heart always hurts me.

I am sorry for writing so long I hope u would help me. I want someone to guide me

[Lovinit]

I’m so sorry, when I read the title of your post, I had to read. I’m currently 37 years old and still struggle from the emotional pain my mom caused me. My mom was never emotionally supportive of me. She did take care of me making sure I had things but she put me down always.

[Alya96 in reply to Lovinit]

I know I am still young to you .. but u know I happy kinda that someone cared and gave me a replay .. I know how do u feel, like once I just started to convince to my mother that why all my friends tend to leave me for stupid reasons she just said "that's really weird thing, I think there is something wrong with u"

Okay in this moment I was heartbreaking and couldn't say anything. It hurts me a lot. I always tried to be more mature and do the right things and get high marks, but nothing will change she always will notice my brother or my sisters. She always making me feel like I am the bad person and do nothing except making troubles. She will not notice my hard working for her. She always will get angry from others and will blame me.

I am sorry for the long respond. I am just want someone to hear my words since I can't tell anyone about it .. if u felt it was annoying please tell me..

Thanks