So as the title suggests, I had a nice day today. I didn’t venture out anywhere other than my back garden, but a friend came round and we sat and chatted, drunk tea, laughed and enjoyed the sun 🌞 (although I’m paying for it now with horrible sunburn) isn’t it funny how we can differ so much from one day to the next?! I’ve no idea why I felt better this morning when I got up, nothing was different this morning from the last few previous mornings. I’m not complaining though lol. I hope everyone is doing as ok as possible xxx
Ps. A pic of my sunburn just to make you laugh lol
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Lynzhoppy1
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Ouch !
Glad you had a nice day.
And yes it is funny how we can be so different one day to the next
I'm glad you had a good day and got some Vitamin D
I've been having symptoms of Paranoid Schizophrenia since I was about 6 (a guy with a thick Russian accent talking to me in my head using it like a bleeding walkie talkie, for 1-2 hours each and every night for well over 6 months). I mean that's the first bad one I remember, though even before that I had severe sleep problems (my pillow would always seem to get too hot - and we didn't even use heating at night we couldn't afford it).
Fast forward about 20 years, a nervous breakdown and sleep problems causing me to drop out of Uni, and many other small failures in my life which I now put down to symptoms of my condition. Interestingly I didn't hear many voices over that period, I just had all kinds of other problems with building relationships and studying properly and with my family too. They were not sympathetic and had failed to pick up on my childhood symptoms though I did describe them at the time to them.
I was assessed at home and given appointments with a good Psychiatrist who said I should get on benefits and gave me a medication (IIRC). I think it was an antidepressant.
Few months later and things are still not good at home and when I panic when I hear an unusual sound (which I didn't make up, it was there) coming from a compartment in a tube train in around 2008 I decide to pull the stop cord. The driver was in this compartment and came out and asked what the trouble was, I explained to him what I heard and pointed and he said 'oh don't worry about that' and got back to driving. No big deal maybe right?
But my dad is a terrible person and my mum was really worried about my future at this stage and what I was having to go through. Dad convinced mum to take me to ER and I was admitted (as an informal patient - not sectioned) to the mental health unit of that hospital same day.
The hospital was a shocker with some really badly behaved people and doors you could only buzz through. What they didn't tell me is that they would not be letting me out for a few weeks, at all. I would not have agreed to go into the ward maybe had they told me that.
It all worked out for the best though, the medicine I was prescribed seemed to help, I got to see my Psychiatrists a few times, I did a bit of group activity and art, I proved I could actually shower and wash clothes and cook basic meals (lol) and within about 3 months I was out of hospital and given a supported housing rental flat nearby with a loan for furniture and a support worker to make sure I could manage on my own, claim the benefits and so on I needed to and just check in once a week.
It's a long story but I feel it provides insight to those who may be wondering what hospital admission and so on are like. The food was really good!
I continued as an outpatient in secondary care and tried to create some space from my family and especially my completely crazy and vindictive and angry and stupid 'father'. I was provided a label of a diagnosis of Paranoid Schitzophrenia. If anything in the last 10 years with that diagnosis my experiences of that condition have got a lot worse but I've got through it.
The medication is troublesome. Olanzapine and Amisulpiride both eventually gave me Type 2 Diabetes. Risperidone caused me some 'paralysis' of the hands etc problems and robbed me of my inner voice (the voice that you lucky people use to talk in English to yourselves).
I had about 15 months when I slept between 0.5 and 3 hours A WEEK. Whole days were spent in bed trying to rest since I wasn't actually sleeping. I am not sure you're really meant to survive something like that.
While my symptoms the last 3 months have been quite bad, now I think I know the cause (this is called a Positive Symptom in my condition but it also happens to be true) - the culprit for all this is a Russian program. It has been since the 70s. It was in the mid 80s when I was having conversations with a stranger in my head. And through all their attempts to scare intimidate and kill me recently, it's remained Russia. You should know if you are suffering with no explanation.
I have 30 years experience of this and have heard voices internally and externally, have had tvs computers and radios respond to my thoughts, all kinds of things. Some of these things have been downright threatening, watching the carpet seem to move in my bedroom, seeing a rolled tobacco cigarette bend in my hands, chairs swaying back and forth for no reason, sometimes the external sounds are very loud and aggressive. It is all some advanced technological stuff it's not magic or aliens or angels or whatever.). It seems to be that they just don't care about what they're up to, they're doing to their own people too and ... well the USA is trying to help but it's not enough yet.
My brother has some quite bad anxiety too and I feel for him. When I get down I just try and remember that my mental and physical health could literally be worse. So ... I wish you the best.
Thanks for reading.
Hello Lynz
I know I am a little late with a reply.
You need some cream on that, you look roasted, Nivea Cream would have cooled it down for you
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Hi not a good day today
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