Trying to socialise, but struggling with underlying fears.

[jpedavies1989]

Hi, my name is Jamie. I am currently having difficulty with being around people. I get the feeling that their watching me. And I end up wanting to watch them closely, (which isn't always possible); and this leaves me feeling, incredibly tense and on-edge.

I have an underlying fear that people could cause me harm. This affects the way I see people, (in the present). This fear is crippling! I can't start conversations with people, because I become tongue-tied, and very unsure as to what I am going to say.

Knowing that I have this problem... I try to work with it. I deliberately place myself in situations where there are people; in the hope, that tgw symptoms will ease. They haven't so far.

Is there a name for this, (the above)? Can anybody suggest a way that I can trick my mind into knowing that it's actually safe, (most of the time), to be around groups of people, and to speak freely without there being any fear.

Please post and suggest ways that I can get around this.

Thank you, and best regards,

Jamie

[hypercat54]

Hi yes this is called social anxiety and it is common. Go and see your doctor and get some help. x

[Strongheartforever]

You can conquer this. Many of us went through this. When you build your life up and build up character and gain self-respect, wisdom and self-knowledge, you’ll have a stronger foundation. Then you operate out of yourself with a certain dignity and you see other folks to be the same as you. Deeply good. Potential friends. Fearful and mortal and fascinating creatures. You must on some level and at least some of the time, be part of this human community and it’s ok to come out slowly. Find your tribe. I think there’s a good book called “Tribes” I meant to read a while back. Find your passion and your true gifts. Be a good person. Live simply. Don’t envy others. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle. This will dawn on you. Don’t fear people. Most of them are full of love and friendship. Get around some good people and be your authentic self and focus on giving to them your precious attention and curiosity instead of being self-conscious.

[jpedavies1989 in reply to Strongheartforever]

Thank you. I keep to the people who can help me the most. Positive words. I hope one day I can get over this. Today I took a big step in the right direction. I have extra support; and, I'm utilising that to the best of my ability. If the worst comes to the worst, I can always call the Samaritans, who are confidential; and, may be able to help. I can always refer back to your post to remind me of the positives.

[AppsFun]

Here is a printable guide to help you. You don’t have to print it but i hope it helps.

moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/shyne...

[jpedavies1989 in reply to AppsFun]

I've copies it into my notes on my phone; and shall refer to it in the future.

[Hidden]

Jamie

Many people can feel the way you do, sometimes people can also feel secretive you are normal, so stop worrying Social Stress and Anxiety can not only be unpleasant it can make us uncomfortable and prevents us performing duties that need our attention.

This afternoon I am laying out watering systems in the Orchard and fruit garden, one of our next door neighbours was standing at the window as I was laying irrigation pipes to various trees, I felt uncomfortable as this person, I do not really like. So we came in and had a cup of tea, The problem was I was roughly laying out an extended run and everything was hanging from trees and bushes to make sure the run was possible. We have about four water runs in the garden, and I have left all the hoses suspended from the trees, I suppose that was why He was grinning.

All we can do is take no notice of people or unpleasant suggestions, you know what you are doing They need to get on with their chores and stop watching over you

Stop worrying, good luck

BOB

[jpedavies1989 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I shall do my best!